Big news, everyone!
(does anyone NOT hear Professor Farmsworth when I say that? Because you can be excused now, if so...)
We officially have our signed, notarized copy of our completed adoption homestudy. 4 1/2 months after we received our packet full of forms to sign and huuugggggeeee biographies to fill out and clearances to receive and classes to take, we are done (with that part.) Just a note: They told us it would take 6-8 months, so... :)
Yay! Happy Dance!
We are so thankful to all of you who have supported us financially and spiritually with your prayers and encouragement so far. Keep those prayers coming--- as I told Jordan yesterday, we are doing something that is going to make the devil very angry, and we need as many warriors on our side as we can get!
Side note (wouldn't it be awesome if I could actually make this a "note" on the "side"? Alas...) It's a very odd experience reading about your life in a third person narrative that sums up everything about you. Our worker did such a good job capturing "us" in the study, but it was still very weird to read our own biographies!
So... what's next?
Well, it's kind of like applying for a job. There are a lot of listing sites where adoption workers post profiles of children in their caseload that are free (or almost free) for adoption. This means that their parents have no more legal rights to them and they have no family that is willing to take them (or, if they are not yet "legally free," that they are checking into the last few family members but they anticipate they will be ready to be adopted very soon).
We read the profiles, try to sift through the jargon to figure out who these kids really are, and then submit our homestudy to their worker if we feel they will be a good match. Our study approves us for one child ages 6-17. While we initially wanted siblings, our worker felt it was best for us to only take one child at this time. We are focusing on girls aged 10-17, but we will see where the Lord leads us.
THEN their worker reads our homestudy and decides if we are a potentially good match. Depending on the state and listing site, they either send us or our worker more detailed information, or we get put on a "maybe" pile which then gets sent to an adoption team of therapists, workers, foster families, community resource members, etc, who THEN decide who the "top picks" are, and THEN they send out more detailed information.
Are you exhausted yet?
THEN we read their file, try to get all the information we need, and decide if we still want to pursue that child based on all the information we have. If we decide they will be a good match,
THEN the worker and/or committee takes all the "finalists" (people who they like who also said yes to the child's more detailed file) and decides who they are going to choose to adopt them.
THEN we go through all the contract specifics--- costs that need to be covered, travel expenses, visits (if there will be any), etc,
THEN they come live with us, and there may or may not be a waiting period before they are "legally" our children where we have more visits.
Yeah, it's a little insane. It is complicated by the fact that the "profiles" on which we are making submissions vary from coded to EXTREMELY vague (think--- likes purple, dogs, and PB&J, dislikes sauerkraut and country music) so it is hard to decide who to even pursue.
By the way--- I hope we aren't scaring anyone thinking of adopting away with all this info. It sounds like a lot, but most of it (on our part) is waiting for things to be done. It has been actually really non-invasive and simple, just very **detailed** and **specific**
So that is "what's next." We have been told it could take 9-12 months to be chosen, finalized, and placed. But, as our mantra has been through this whole process, we are on God's time and we know He doesn't follow a bureaucratic model and timeline. We are excited to see, yet again, how he gets things moving and shaking and the testimony we will be able to have to our workers and the people we meet :)
If you missed my post about praying for orphans, I urge you to read it here and pick a prayer child--- prayer works! 3 of the children/sibling sets that were being prayed for were adopted VERY quickly (and those are only the ones I know about!).
Stay tuned for more exciting adoption news SOON! How's that for speaking (blogging?) in faith!
Love from the gorgeous Inland Northwest!!!
Monday, October 6, 2014
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Let me answer your questions for you!
Let me answer your
questions for you!
We are so happy to
announce there is a tiny little (almost) 9 week old Smith baby growing AS WE
SPEAK.
I want to save everyone
some major brain energy, so I’m just gonna do this for ya’ll J
When this baby is born
(sometime near March 11, 2015), we will have:
5 under 5 ½.
4 under 4.
3 under 3 AND
2 under 2
2 under 2
(and hopefully 2 more
older ones to make it 7 total--- it is the number of perfection, you know)
Silas and Little Cinq
(that’s 5 in French for you Anglophones out there) will be about 13 ½ months
apart.
I will have been pregnant
for 50 out of the last 72 months. Yep, that’s more than 2/3 of the last 6
years. That is including two first-trimester miscarriages, one between Zoe and
Xander and one between Silas and Little Cinq.
We suspect it’s either
caused by water or sex, and we’re not willing to give up either J
Yes, we own a TV, and have
a Netflix subscription.
We will stop having them
when they stop coming out so stinking cute J
All kidding aside, we are
overjoyed to be welcoming a new life into the world and into our family. We
have been told by our adoption worker that we can still continue with our adoption
process and, just as before, it is in the hands of the social workers who
receive our applications (so the workers for whatever children we apply for) to
decide if we are a good fit for prospective placements, new baby and all. Our hope
is that both the workers and whatever children are potentially placed in our
homes will see this as a big positive--- they are not “Plan B” or something to
be set on the backburner while our “real” children are being raised. They are
our Plan A, just as our biological children are, and we hope they can see it as
a rewarding experience to come and welcome a little brother or sister into the
world. I personally hope we are matched before the baby is born so that ALL the
new siblings (adopted and just born) will have a chance to be a part of each others’
lives from day one!
Jordan and Zoe are very
excited. Zoe actually walked into the bathroom when I wasn’t paying attention,
saw the test on the counter and said “Op, time for another baby!” and then went
about her day. Xander has no idea what’s going on, although he did manage to
get out a “Baby? Baby?” during the ultrasound. Silas is happy, because that’s
just what Silas is.
And just to add to the “Wow,
they’re insane” thoughts (hehehe)--- this baby will, God willing, be born at an
Independent Christian Birth Center with a midwife named Inga who attends New
Life with us. Crazy, I know, but I think it’s going to be a good experience for
us and is a very happy alternative to the strict VBAC policies (like, not
allowed) at the Idaho hospitals (thank you, little Bug, for your stubborn
entrance into the world!)
Well, that is that! I can
only imagine that God has some battles for us because he is definitely filling
our quiver!
God Bless and Love from the Smith Household!!!
Thursday, July 17, 2014
My Challenge to YOU (yes, YOU)
I have a challenge for
you.
And let me tell you, it’s
a challenge that, I promise, if you take it, will change your life.
You’re not going to want
to. You are probably really tempted to stop reading right now. Push through.
Your flesh is going to
fight against it. Your mind is going to give you all sorts of excuses. You’re
going to find about 500 reasons to dismiss this.
But don’t.
Here is my challenge for
you:
Visit one of the websites I’m
going to list below. Pick out one child or sibling set. And commit to praying
for them once a day every day until they find a family.
That’s it.
No money, no letter
writing, no work. Just prayer.
Read about them, get to
know their names and ages and personalities, and pray for them the way you
would like someone to pray for your own children if they were ever a face (or
faces) on this website.
It doesn’t have to be a long, drawn out process. Make it your prayer while you sip your coffee. Or your prayer while you’re stopped at a red light on the way to work.
It doesn’t have to be a long, drawn out process. Make it your prayer while you sip your coffee. Or your prayer while you’re stopped at a red light on the way to work.
Northwest Adoption Exchange (Idaho/Oregon/Washington/Alaska)
Adopt US Kids (National Listing)
Do you hear all the
excuses flying through your brain about why you shouldn’t have to do this? They’re
there. I know they are because they were there for me when God first put this
challenge on my heart. You don't have time to look at those websites. You already sponsor a child through Compassion. Your church gives money to orphans. You don't feel "led" to pray for an orphan. Or, you might not even have words to put to your thoughts other than
an overwhelming desire to hit that little “X” button in the upper right corner
and just pretend you never read this because it's just "not for you."
Don’t.
You have 60 seconds every
day to offer up a prayer for a child that may not have anyone else praying for
them.
When God first put the
idea of adoption on my heart, Nik was dead set against it. So I did just this.
I made a commitment to pray every day for a sibling set. I didn’t really *want*
to pray, but I felt God leading me to do it, so I did. There were two that were
really on my heart, but I wanted to make a committed, personal effort so I chose
one set of sisters. 4 days after I started praying, they were adopted. It was
such an amazing feeling that instead of reluctance to do it, as I felt the
first time, I was eager to start praying for the other sisters that were on my
heart. I saw the desires of my heart turn from really not wanting to (for
reasons I couldn’t even articulate) into being excited to pray for them and see
lives changed. My kids pray for them every night, by name. They lay on their
beds and, with their childlike faith, ask God to provide them a home and a
family and love. Children have a love for the "unloveable" in an instinctual way that has been bred out of most adults.
“Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.” –Psalm 37:4
When you delight in what the Lord delights in, your life will be changed. You may not ever meet these children this side of heaven, but what an awesome gift you are giving them and yourself by opening up your heart and praying for them when they need it most.
Will you take my
challenge? Do you have an extra 60 seconds in your day every day to change a
few lives?
“Religion that God our
Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows
in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
–James 1:27
If you a willing to take this prayer challenge, I would love if you would post in the comments the name and location of the child/children you are praying for and share this post forward!
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Money Money Money
Some of you may be wondering
(or maybe you're not, so feel free to click away now)
"What are all these "costs of adoption" they're raising money for? Isn't foster care adoption cheap/free?"
No.
And yes.
And no.
If you compare it to international adoption, it is SIGNIFICANTLY less expensive. Like, by a lot :)
And I guess "cheap" is all in the eye of the beholder. So here is a (sorta) breakdown of (some) of the costs:
Application fee: $100
Homestudy fee: $1200
Mandatory training: $150
Mandatory Background checks: $165
Basic physicals/checkups for whole family: $300
"Safety" supplies for home:
Gate for woodburning stove, firearms cabinet, outlet covers, cabinet locks: ~$200
New furniture: Beds, Mattresses, Desks, Dressers, Sheets, Comforters... ??? We are always scouring Craigslist looking for deals on these things :) Except for mattresses. Who wants a used mattress??? I am estimating it will be about $700 (for two of each!)\
We are also saving for travel costs (we have no idea if we will need them, but if we adopt out of state I anticipate having to travel!). Let's just guess around $1000.
So that's $3815... and I know there will be other incidental costs along the way that will make it more like a nice, round $4000. Its only about 10% of what people adopting internationally will pay, but still, it's a decent chunk of change, right?
We know that God will provide and we are SO thankful to all our wonderful friends who have already shown their support.
If you'd like to help out (every dollar helps) and get a prayer bracelet... click here!
As always, our love!!
Beka, Nik and Midgets!!
(or maybe you're not, so feel free to click away now)
"What are all these "costs of adoption" they're raising money for? Isn't foster care adoption cheap/free?"
No.
And yes.
And no.
If you compare it to international adoption, it is SIGNIFICANTLY less expensive. Like, by a lot :)
And I guess "cheap" is all in the eye of the beholder. So here is a (sorta) breakdown of (some) of the costs:
Application fee: $100
Homestudy fee: $1200
Mandatory training: $150
Mandatory Background checks: $165
Basic physicals/checkups for whole family: $300
"Safety" supplies for home:
Gate for woodburning stove, firearms cabinet, outlet covers, cabinet locks: ~$200
New furniture: Beds, Mattresses, Desks, Dressers, Sheets, Comforters... ??? We are always scouring Craigslist looking for deals on these things :) Except for mattresses. Who wants a used mattress??? I am estimating it will be about $700 (for two of each!)\
We are also saving for travel costs (we have no idea if we will need them, but if we adopt out of state I anticipate having to travel!). Let's just guess around $1000.
So that's $3815... and I know there will be other incidental costs along the way that will make it more like a nice, round $4000. Its only about 10% of what people adopting internationally will pay, but still, it's a decent chunk of change, right?
We know that God will provide and we are SO thankful to all our wonderful friends who have already shown their support.
If you'd like to help out (every dollar helps) and get a prayer bracelet... click here!
As always, our love!!
Beka, Nik and Midgets!!
Saturday, June 21, 2014
For I know the plans I have for you...
... declares the LORD. Plans for PEACE and not for evil, to give you a FUTURE and a HOPE.
--Jeremiah 29:11
This has always been one of my favorite bible verses. It is such a verse of inspiration and hope. For GOD knows the plans HE has for YOU. He is declaring this over your life--- that HIS plans for YOUR life are for PEACE... he has a future and a hope for you!
How amazing is that?
It has struck me time and again, as I (maybe slightly obsessively) look at pictures of all these kids that need a family, that could be *our* children, that they do not have this assurance. They are not growing up in an environment that assures them that yes, despite the bad things, despite problems, despite roadblocks, God has a plan FOR GOOD for you. They do not have a father or mother or family who can stand in as an earthly representation of our Father in Heaven to say "I will love you unconditionally. Nothing can separate you from my love."
I look at these kids and *know* God has an awesome plan for all of them, and I also *know* that His will on this earth cannot be done without us as His followers acting out our faith. If we sit by and do nothing, then the adversary wins.
The bible tells us this:
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
-James 1:27
I know it is not possible for many people to adopt. It was not possible in our lives for quite a long season. But we are ALL commanded to care for the widows and orphans. It is against my nature to reach out and say "we need help," but we do. And, more than that, God has put it on our hearts to make sure we open up an opportunity for all our brothers and sisters in Christ to help in the ways that they can during this process and, most importantly, sew into the lives of these children, whoever they are :)
ALL that being said, we are excited to announce that we will be selling "Prayer Bands" (a rubber bracelet---made in the USA!) to raise money to go toward the funds of our home study. This is a necessary step in our adoption process without which we cannot apply to be considered as adoptive parents.
Nik picked out the "Batman" theme. Pretty awesome, right? You know you want one...
We are asking for a $5 donation per band. If you are able to give more--- yay! If you are able to give some, every penny counts!
You can give your donation on our Go Fund Me Page.
If you cannot give financially but would like to partner with us in prayer during this process, please let us know and we will be happy to send you a prayer band. We would love for you to wear them as a daily reminder to pray for our family and for the children we will be pursuing.
If you are part of a church group, youth group, women's group, or any other kind of group (or just have a lot of friends!), or have a storefront or business where you can set up a donation jar with the bands, and would like us to send you more bands to offer to those you know, we would love to do so!
As always, we covet and are thankful for your continued prayers and support. We look forward to the day when we can share pictures of our new family members and tell them about all the prayer and love they have had poured into them before we even knew them :)
XOXO
Beka, Nik, and Kiddos
--Jeremiah 29:11
This has always been one of my favorite bible verses. It is such a verse of inspiration and hope. For GOD knows the plans HE has for YOU. He is declaring this over your life--- that HIS plans for YOUR life are for PEACE... he has a future and a hope for you!
How amazing is that?
It has struck me time and again, as I (maybe slightly obsessively) look at pictures of all these kids that need a family, that could be *our* children, that they do not have this assurance. They are not growing up in an environment that assures them that yes, despite the bad things, despite problems, despite roadblocks, God has a plan FOR GOOD for you. They do not have a father or mother or family who can stand in as an earthly representation of our Father in Heaven to say "I will love you unconditionally. Nothing can separate you from my love."
I look at these kids and *know* God has an awesome plan for all of them, and I also *know* that His will on this earth cannot be done without us as His followers acting out our faith. If we sit by and do nothing, then the adversary wins.
The bible tells us this:
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
-James 1:27
I know it is not possible for many people to adopt. It was not possible in our lives for quite a long season. But we are ALL commanded to care for the widows and orphans. It is against my nature to reach out and say "we need help," but we do. And, more than that, God has put it on our hearts to make sure we open up an opportunity for all our brothers and sisters in Christ to help in the ways that they can during this process and, most importantly, sew into the lives of these children, whoever they are :)
ALL that being said, we are excited to announce that we will be selling "Prayer Bands" (a rubber bracelet---made in the USA!) to raise money to go toward the funds of our home study. This is a necessary step in our adoption process without which we cannot apply to be considered as adoptive parents.
Nik picked out the "Batman" theme. Pretty awesome, right? You know you want one...
We are asking for a $5 donation per band. If you are able to give more--- yay! If you are able to give some, every penny counts!
You can give your donation on our Go Fund Me Page.
If you cannot give financially but would like to partner with us in prayer during this process, please let us know and we will be happy to send you a prayer band. We would love for you to wear them as a daily reminder to pray for our family and for the children we will be pursuing.
If you are part of a church group, youth group, women's group, or any other kind of group (or just have a lot of friends!), or have a storefront or business where you can set up a donation jar with the bands, and would like us to send you more bands to offer to those you know, we would love to do so!
As always, we covet and are thankful for your continued prayers and support. We look forward to the day when we can share pictures of our new family members and tell them about all the prayer and love they have had poured into them before we even knew them :)
XOXO
Beka, Nik, and Kiddos
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Big News Around Here!
We have some big (Big BIG) news in the Smith household!
No, we're not having another baby (although adding another wonderful *little* arrow to add to our quiver is always a welcome and real possibility around here!)
However, we are *hopefully* adding some... larger... arrows (*hopefully* soon!!)
Yes, our family has started on the exciting journey of adoption!
We have been praying for quite some time about how God would have us participate in caring for children who need a family (be it financial, prayer, helping another family, etc), and, now that we are settled in our new northern home, we really feel that God is calling us to adopt through the foster system.
Pretty exciting, eh?
Right now we are pursing a direct adoption from foster care--meaning we are going to apply for a specific set of children that are close to or already legally free and ready to be adopted-- and we are wanting to be approved for an older (pre-teen/teen) sibling set. We are going this route instead of going through foster care first because we really feel it will be easier on our children not to have *possible* siblings coming in and out of the home and not knowing who will stay and who will go. We want them to be able to start forming sibling relationships and embrace them as their family right away! It will also be a little easier (God willing) to have children placed with us through direct adoption than foster care because of our family size. It is important to us to continue our conviction of leaving our family size totally in God's hands and this is a more realistic possibility doing direct adoption.
As of right now we really feel God is asking us to open our home to a set of pre-teen or teen siblings. As most of your know, we do have a weakness for teenagers (Call us crazy, we do love 'em!) We do not know who specifically that will be yet--although I personally have a preference for a set of teen sisters that I have been praying for :) I have been warned that they will probably be adopted by the time our background checks and homestudy have cleared--- which I will be fine with, but still... I'm a little partial to them :)
Right now we are in the very beginning stages--- we are currently doing a required training course called "Because They Waited" and gathering all the things we will need to complete our homestudy.
I know this is going to be a spiritually trying and challenging journey but I feel such peace and excitement about the whole thing. I cannot wait to see which souls God is going to entrust to our family and bless us with!
As always, we appreciate your prayers! I, personally, am praying that we will be able to bless everyone we come in contact with during this process and really "shine our lights," and that this process goes smoothly and QUICKLY! I am also praying that any pre-conceived notions and prejudices people might have about larger families with small children will be dispelled once they get to know us, as we have been warned that sometimes workers are hesitant to place children with families that already have "a lot" (4 is a lot??) of kids. I know our God is bigger than "the system" and that with His help things will go exactly as they are meant to!!
I'm sure we will be doing some sort of fundraising as there are extra things we are going to need to bring older children into our home--- beds, furniture, and a larger vehicle, to name a few! Keep an eye on this blog and my FB page for updates on how you can help, if you feel so led!!
In any case, I know God is guiding this process and my overwhelming emotion is excitement to get moving and meet whoever it is that God will bring into our lives!
Thanks for reading :)
No, we're not having another baby (although adding another wonderful *little* arrow to add to our quiver is always a welcome and real possibility around here!)
However, we are *hopefully* adding some... larger... arrows (*hopefully* soon!!)
Yes, our family has started on the exciting journey of adoption!
We have been praying for quite some time about how God would have us participate in caring for children who need a family (be it financial, prayer, helping another family, etc), and, now that we are settled in our new northern home, we really feel that God is calling us to adopt through the foster system.
Pretty exciting, eh?
Right now we are pursing a direct adoption from foster care--meaning we are going to apply for a specific set of children that are close to or already legally free and ready to be adopted-- and we are wanting to be approved for an older (pre-teen/teen) sibling set. We are going this route instead of going through foster care first because we really feel it will be easier on our children not to have *possible* siblings coming in and out of the home and not knowing who will stay and who will go. We want them to be able to start forming sibling relationships and embrace them as their family right away! It will also be a little easier (God willing) to have children placed with us through direct adoption than foster care because of our family size. It is important to us to continue our conviction of leaving our family size totally in God's hands and this is a more realistic possibility doing direct adoption.
As of right now we really feel God is asking us to open our home to a set of pre-teen or teen siblings. As most of your know, we do have a weakness for teenagers (Call us crazy, we do love 'em!) We do not know who specifically that will be yet--although I personally have a preference for a set of teen sisters that I have been praying for :) I have been warned that they will probably be adopted by the time our background checks and homestudy have cleared--- which I will be fine with, but still... I'm a little partial to them :)
Right now we are in the very beginning stages--- we are currently doing a required training course called "Because They Waited" and gathering all the things we will need to complete our homestudy.
I know this is going to be a spiritually trying and challenging journey but I feel such peace and excitement about the whole thing. I cannot wait to see which souls God is going to entrust to our family and bless us with!
As always, we appreciate your prayers! I, personally, am praying that we will be able to bless everyone we come in contact with during this process and really "shine our lights," and that this process goes smoothly and QUICKLY! I am also praying that any pre-conceived notions and prejudices people might have about larger families with small children will be dispelled once they get to know us, as we have been warned that sometimes workers are hesitant to place children with families that already have "a lot" (4 is a lot??) of kids. I know our God is bigger than "the system" and that with His help things will go exactly as they are meant to!!
I'm sure we will be doing some sort of fundraising as there are extra things we are going to need to bring older children into our home--- beds, furniture, and a larger vehicle, to name a few! Keep an eye on this blog and my FB page for updates on how you can help, if you feel so led!!
In any case, I know God is guiding this process and my overwhelming emotion is excitement to get moving and meet whoever it is that God will bring into our lives!
Thanks for reading :)
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
The Homeschool Debate. Or, "Teachers, We Love You."
There are countless -- I'm going to say upwards of 10,000, but hey, I'm guessing-- blog posts about Homeschool. The why, the how, the stats on how great it is and how great public school isn't.
This is not one of those posts. (Ok, maybe it kinda is. But not really)
This is a post that is, in a way, an ode to school teachers.
And a declaration of peace, from me, a homeschooling Mommy, to the teachers of the world.
I think that sometimes we homeschooling parents come off as very anti-teacher. Which, if I may speak for the majority of us, we are not (or we shouldn't be!!)
I commend, applaud, and wish I could award school teachers--- and especially public school teachers. I do not believe (and maybe this is idealistic of me, but I don't think it is) that ANYONE goes into the profession of teaching with anything other than a true servant's heart. Do some teachers turn "bad?" Sure. So do some Pastors. And some Police Officers. And some Firemen. But no one enters into the profession of teaching with dreams of lots of time off and plenty of expendable income that comes after a nice, slow season's work in a perfect little classroom. Maybe there is the idealistic dream that one or two of their students will turn out to be something truly great--- curing cancer or bringing about world peace--- and bring them a bit of celebrity and glory. But that's a pretty awesome goal, isn't it? I know there are teachers out there who are just plain no longer good at their jobs, or have stopped caring, or are now just trying to make it to retirement. I do not think that any of them started out with these expectations.
And I want to say, right here and right now, that I DO NOT think I can do a teacher's job better than they can. That seems to be a very common accusation when people find out a parent is homeschooling.
"What, do you think you can teach better than a person who was trained in college and has been doing it for 20 years can?"
My answer is No... and Yes... and No.
All things being equal, I *know* I cannot teach better than a professional teacher. If I was given a classroom full of 30 (35... 40) kids, some of whom (who? whom?) don't speak English, some of whom have parents that could not care less what their kids do all day as long as they're in free childcare, some of whom are waaay below grade level... I would fail. Miserably and quickly. If I was given (what I think is) a ridiculous curriculum, with ridiculous standards to live up to, under a ridiculous bureaucracy, with a ridiculous time frame... I would fail.
And, reversely, if that same teacher was given a welcoming "classroom" (a home-like setting, maybe) with only one (or three, or eight) kids to teach, and got to spend lengthy, quality time getting to know those children and their personalities and their histories, and was able to choose curriculum based on those children's strengths and weaknesses and learning styles, and was able to work on a schedule that worked best for everyone... they would soar. And, to be traitorous to the "No one can teach my child better than I can," under *these* circumstances, they most certainly would do it better than I can. Their training and education in teaching methods and learning styles and... well, let's be honest, I don't really know what else they cover when getting a teacher's certification... would allow them to thrive and perform better than I could.
But, let's be honest.
All things are not equal.
Even Mrs. Michelle Duggar has a classroom size smaller than the average US Elementary School Classroom (20.3, in case you're wondering. And I'm going out on a limb and saying a few really low outliers are throwing that off. Just look at the numbers for most CA Public Schools--- closer to 30!). Teachers are using a generalized "common" curriculum. There is little to no wiggle room for teacher or student personality, learning styles, strengths and weaknesses, etc. Classrooms are cold, crowded places with few supplies and even fewer of the learning tools that all the education classes in college teach are really necessary to "foster" learning.
So I guess my answer is... Could I do a teacher's job better than they could? No. But can they teach my child, given the current educational circumstances, better than I can? No again. That doesn't mean I hate them or think they're doing a horrible job--- If I haven't made it clear enough, I honestly believe public school teachers are HEROS in today's society. Let's all hold hands and sing Kombaya (?? "I can't believe you're going to teach your kids and you can't even SPELL") and realize that we (as homeschool parents) and teachers are working for the same goal.
We are not at war.
Give peace a chance! (Sorry, I really couldn't help it)
Beka Out.
This is a post that is, in a way, an ode to school teachers.
And a declaration of peace, from me, a homeschooling Mommy, to the teachers of the world.
I think that sometimes we homeschooling parents come off as very anti-teacher. Which, if I may speak for the majority of us, we are not (or we shouldn't be!!)
I commend, applaud, and wish I could award school teachers--- and especially public school teachers. I do not believe (and maybe this is idealistic of me, but I don't think it is) that ANYONE goes into the profession of teaching with anything other than a true servant's heart. Do some teachers turn "bad?" Sure. So do some Pastors. And some Police Officers. And some Firemen. But no one enters into the profession of teaching with dreams of lots of time off and plenty of expendable income that comes after a nice, slow season's work in a perfect little classroom. Maybe there is the idealistic dream that one or two of their students will turn out to be something truly great--- curing cancer or bringing about world peace--- and bring them a bit of celebrity and glory. But that's a pretty awesome goal, isn't it? I know there are teachers out there who are just plain no longer good at their jobs, or have stopped caring, or are now just trying to make it to retirement. I do not think that any of them started out with these expectations.
And I want to say, right here and right now, that I DO NOT think I can do a teacher's job better than they can. That seems to be a very common accusation when people find out a parent is homeschooling.
"What, do you think you can teach better than a person who was trained in college and has been doing it for 20 years can?"
My answer is No... and Yes... and No.
All things being equal, I *know* I cannot teach better than a professional teacher. If I was given a classroom full of 30 (35... 40) kids, some of whom (who? whom?) don't speak English, some of whom have parents that could not care less what their kids do all day as long as they're in free childcare, some of whom are waaay below grade level... I would fail. Miserably and quickly. If I was given (what I think is) a ridiculous curriculum, with ridiculous standards to live up to, under a ridiculous bureaucracy, with a ridiculous time frame... I would fail.
And, reversely, if that same teacher was given a welcoming "classroom" (a home-like setting, maybe) with only one (or three, or eight) kids to teach, and got to spend lengthy, quality time getting to know those children and their personalities and their histories, and was able to choose curriculum based on those children's strengths and weaknesses and learning styles, and was able to work on a schedule that worked best for everyone... they would soar. And, to be traitorous to the "No one can teach my child better than I can," under *these* circumstances, they most certainly would do it better than I can. Their training and education in teaching methods and learning styles and... well, let's be honest, I don't really know what else they cover when getting a teacher's certification... would allow them to thrive and perform better than I could.
But, let's be honest.
All things are not equal.
Even Mrs. Michelle Duggar has a classroom size smaller than the average US Elementary School Classroom (20.3, in case you're wondering. And I'm going out on a limb and saying a few really low outliers are throwing that off. Just look at the numbers for most CA Public Schools--- closer to 30!). Teachers are using a generalized "common" curriculum. There is little to no wiggle room for teacher or student personality, learning styles, strengths and weaknesses, etc. Classrooms are cold, crowded places with few supplies and even fewer of the learning tools that all the education classes in college teach are really necessary to "foster" learning.
So I guess my answer is... Could I do a teacher's job better than they could? No. But can they teach my child, given the current educational circumstances, better than I can? No again. That doesn't mean I hate them or think they're doing a horrible job--- If I haven't made it clear enough, I honestly believe public school teachers are HEROS in today's society. Let's all hold hands and sing Kombaya (?? "I can't believe you're going to teach your kids and you can't even SPELL") and realize that we (as homeschool parents) and teachers are working for the same goal.
We are not at war.
Give peace a chance! (Sorry, I really couldn't help it)
Beka Out.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Happy Birthday Xander James
Well, "Baby" is not a baby anymore...
Guess who's birthday it is???
I can't believe my little man is ONE YEAR OLD tomorrow!
I have to admit, after having two daughters, I never thought I'd really enjoy being Mommy to a little boy nearly as much as I do--- but I love love love him so much!
He is FOR SURE my most spoiled baby--- I can't resist his sweet little face :)
In honor of his big O-N-E, a little tribue to the little man:
Hello, my name is Xander James.
But people call me: Xan Man, Bubba
My favorite foods are: Bananas, Cheddar Cheese
My least favorite foods are: Beef (of any kind), beans
My favorite song is: If You're Happy and You Know It, The Anthem by Jake Hamilton
I love to: Splash (especially in the toilet) and unroll the toilet paper.
I do not like: Long car rides, naps, being locked out of the bathroom.
My special tricks: "Hallelujah," arguing (in sign language AND english), mimicking everything my sisters do, playing drums like a boss
Now that I'm one, these are the signs I know: more, dog, please, thank you, yes, Dad, diaper.
What Mom and Dad think I'll be when I grow up: A demolition dude, a drummer, some sort of scream-o worship leader, or a revolutionary :)
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Dear Church: Help for Moms in the Trenches
This is some advice I have compiled after talking to many of my Mommy friends about the trials and struggles they have gone through having lots of littles in the church world. I know I am always looking for ways to encourage other moms, so hopefully this will help others be able to build up and offer encouragement to someone that might need it today!
Dear Church,
I know we are not always the most productive members of your service. We can't always show up to extra meetings or get up at 6am to pray. We rarely have enough energy to help set up for special events or clean up after fellowship nights. Our little ones are usually the ones getting underfoot in your prayer lines or being stumbled over during praise and worship. We don't have the expendable income of the single twenty-somethings or the older couples without any diaper expenses. We can't drop everything to travel to dangerous countries for missions or even to spend the day on skid row handing out lunches.
But we are making an eternal impact. You might not see it now--- but if you look at the teenagers that aren't having sex, aren't doing drugs, aren't having to be dragged kicking and screaming to service--- if you look at the twenty-somethings that ARE going to your prayer meetings, making those mission trips, putting 50% of their paycheck in the offering---- if you look at those people, and do a little math, you will see what we are contributing.
And although it isn't immediate, or fast, or even snail-paced, our work is hard and we would love a little support from our fellow church members. Maybe you haven't been in this particular battle yet, or maybe you've moved out of it and your mind has blocked out the warfare to protect itself. If so, I would love to offer you some practical suggestions for how to support the women who are in the diaper filled, spit-up covered, tantrum laden trenches of having lots of little ones and not much extra sanity to spare.
Offer to help, and mean it, before we can ask
We don't want to have to ask someone to hold the baby while we deal with our 3 year old's tantrum. We don't want to burden someone who is clearly enjoying service with having to help carry out the diaper bag, car seat, toy bag, bumbo, sippy cups, snack bag, and babies to the car because someone pooped through their diaper and we forgot the change of clothes. So, if you see a Mom that is about to be in the middle of a melt-down, offer a hand. Without her asking. Pick up her bags and help her go to the car. Joyfully come play with baby while the toddler is screaming. Ask if you can help make that bottle while she watches her other little ones.
The other day in service, my 3 year old LOST it. My baby was hungry. I literally sat there, staring at the two of them having simultaneous melt-downs, so torn between which to take care of that I couldn't move. A woman I hardly know came over, sat down with the baby and just smiled and said "It's ok, I've got him. You go ahead." No judgement, no annoyance. She just sat down and entertained the baby, happy to help.
If you're a mom of small children you will understand that I am crying tears of gratitude just remembering it. If that makes no sense to you... just take it from me. It means THAT much.
Understand that the crying that is driving you crazy near the end of the service is actually a win for us, because they made it that long.
I know it's annoying. I know the sound of a crying baby is like nails on a chalkboard. But I also know how heartbreaking it is to feel SO accomplished (Yes! He made it 30 minutes today!) only to turn around and see the annoyed stares of people wishing that baby would just shut up. Understand that the 30 minutes of good behavior you witnessed was probably the result of weeks of slow and repetitive training and work on Mommy's part. Have some grace with us.
Don't make us feel bad for not being able to attend events that are not kid-friendly.
We understand that there are some great things going on in the body of Christ--- God is moving in some incredible ways. We pray for you. We rejoice with you. But that doesn't mean it doesn't rub salt in the wound when we have to hear about everyone else getting to join in the party while we're stuck at home with a sick child. Or a healthy child, because the prayer meeting was somewhere little kids just can't function. Understand that sometimes (most times) we miss these things because we do not want our children to be an unnecessary distraction --- I may be able to "get in the spirit" with .5 seconds notice, then out to scold someone, then back into it, then back out to tie a shoe, then back into it, then back out to wipe a nose--- but I know most other people can't. We stay home because many times the best contribution we can make is not being there. But that doesn't mean we don't want to be there, and that doesn't mean we want to hear... over and over again... about all the great things that are happening without us.
I think this is a good rule of thumb between informing and bragging--- use the same measure you would use with someone who was for some reason bed-ridden and couldn't make it. Whatever you would tell them, tell us. Whatever you would ask them to pray for, ask us. Whatever you feel would "cross-the-line" from reporting to making them feel bad... leave that out with us, too.
The more things you make kid-friendly, the more wanted and appreciated we will feel.
Maybe it's because we're women. Maybe it's because our lives are centered around reading little people's moods and intentions before their words ever come out. But I've found it to be a Mom-consensus--- if church events continually don't have kid (Mom) accommodations, we are going to assume you don't want us there. And if we're assuming you don't want us there, we're going to assume you don't value us. Hold one prayer meeting a month indoors and have the option of child care. Ask the parents of small children to go first in the buffet line at a fellowship event, or appoint people to help them carry those extra plates going through the buffet line. Offer child-care at your services, but also understand that many parents don't want to leave their kids with people they've never met--- make them feel welcome to have their kids with them. If you don't have a changing table handy, or a quiet-room for nursing, then don't give any dirty looks when she's changing a diaper in the pews or popping out a boob in the back row.
Set up opportunities for our family to serve together.
We want to help--- we really do--- and we want our kids to help too. I know they might be more of a hindrance at first, but the only way they will learn is to participate. Organize some "small" missions/service opportunities that we can take them to or allow them to participate in. Ask for our help in ways that we can actually give it--- putting together care packages, making cookies, visiting retirement homes, etc. Accept that we're not going to take our kids places that are unsafe or unwise (Anywhere outside in less than 40 or more than 100 degree weather? Anywhere where they are going to meet hookers or get cussed out by a gang member?) but we would love to bring them places where they can serve and learn in a safe manner.
Give Mom a hug
Sometimes Moms just need hugs. And pats on the back. And maybe a candy snuck into her hand while the kids aren't looking. And someone to recognize that what we do is hard work. If you see a Mom keep her temper while her child is acting out, go up to her afterward and tell her what a good job she's doing. If you notice some one's children being well-behaved during service or Sunday school, let them know. Look at the opportunity to dance with one of our children or have them pray for you as a blessing and not a burden. We spend all day, every day training them to love the Lord and have Godly character--- its nice when that's recognized!
I was so blessed last Sunday (this is going to sound horrible--- but its not) by not seeing my youngest son for the first hour of service. One of the younger women in our church spent the entire worship service dancing with him, even when his HEAVY little self was passed out and sweaty on her. I'm sure she would have been able to get more into worship without him, but I'm also SURE God rewarded her choice to spend time with him and bless me with free hands for that hour so that I could spend some distraction-free time loving the Lord.
Lastly, remember what Jesus did...
Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” After laying His hands on them, He departed from there. (Matthew 19:13-15)
I am so fortunate to have a pastor that loves my children and has such a Christ-like heart towards them. It's not uncommon to look up and see him with one of them on his hip during a sermon, or helping them lay hands on people to pray for them. He's teaching them the one thing that we, as parents, can't teach on our own--- that they are accepted and wanted and important in the body. That's something that only you, as a church, can do.
With my love,
From the trenches,
Beka... mom to lots of littles.
Dear Church,
I know we are not always the most productive members of your service. We can't always show up to extra meetings or get up at 6am to pray. We rarely have enough energy to help set up for special events or clean up after fellowship nights. Our little ones are usually the ones getting underfoot in your prayer lines or being stumbled over during praise and worship. We don't have the expendable income of the single twenty-somethings or the older couples without any diaper expenses. We can't drop everything to travel to dangerous countries for missions or even to spend the day on skid row handing out lunches.
But we are making an eternal impact. You might not see it now--- but if you look at the teenagers that aren't having sex, aren't doing drugs, aren't having to be dragged kicking and screaming to service--- if you look at the twenty-somethings that ARE going to your prayer meetings, making those mission trips, putting 50% of their paycheck in the offering---- if you look at those people, and do a little math, you will see what we are contributing.
And although it isn't immediate, or fast, or even snail-paced, our work is hard and we would love a little support from our fellow church members. Maybe you haven't been in this particular battle yet, or maybe you've moved out of it and your mind has blocked out the warfare to protect itself. If so, I would love to offer you some practical suggestions for how to support the women who are in the diaper filled, spit-up covered, tantrum laden trenches of having lots of little ones and not much extra sanity to spare.
Offer to help, and mean it, before we can ask
We don't want to have to ask someone to hold the baby while we deal with our 3 year old's tantrum. We don't want to burden someone who is clearly enjoying service with having to help carry out the diaper bag, car seat, toy bag, bumbo, sippy cups, snack bag, and babies to the car because someone pooped through their diaper and we forgot the change of clothes. So, if you see a Mom that is about to be in the middle of a melt-down, offer a hand. Without her asking. Pick up her bags and help her go to the car. Joyfully come play with baby while the toddler is screaming. Ask if you can help make that bottle while she watches her other little ones.
The other day in service, my 3 year old LOST it. My baby was hungry. I literally sat there, staring at the two of them having simultaneous melt-downs, so torn between which to take care of that I couldn't move. A woman I hardly know came over, sat down with the baby and just smiled and said "It's ok, I've got him. You go ahead." No judgement, no annoyance. She just sat down and entertained the baby, happy to help.
If you're a mom of small children you will understand that I am crying tears of gratitude just remembering it. If that makes no sense to you... just take it from me. It means THAT much.
Understand that the crying that is driving you crazy near the end of the service is actually a win for us, because they made it that long.
I know it's annoying. I know the sound of a crying baby is like nails on a chalkboard. But I also know how heartbreaking it is to feel SO accomplished (Yes! He made it 30 minutes today!) only to turn around and see the annoyed stares of people wishing that baby would just shut up. Understand that the 30 minutes of good behavior you witnessed was probably the result of weeks of slow and repetitive training and work on Mommy's part. Have some grace with us.
Don't make us feel bad for not being able to attend events that are not kid-friendly.
We understand that there are some great things going on in the body of Christ--- God is moving in some incredible ways. We pray for you. We rejoice with you. But that doesn't mean it doesn't rub salt in the wound when we have to hear about everyone else getting to join in the party while we're stuck at home with a sick child. Or a healthy child, because the prayer meeting was somewhere little kids just can't function. Understand that sometimes (most times) we miss these things because we do not want our children to be an unnecessary distraction --- I may be able to "get in the spirit" with .5 seconds notice, then out to scold someone, then back into it, then back out to tie a shoe, then back into it, then back out to wipe a nose--- but I know most other people can't. We stay home because many times the best contribution we can make is not being there. But that doesn't mean we don't want to be there, and that doesn't mean we want to hear... over and over again... about all the great things that are happening without us.
I think this is a good rule of thumb between informing and bragging--- use the same measure you would use with someone who was for some reason bed-ridden and couldn't make it. Whatever you would tell them, tell us. Whatever you would ask them to pray for, ask us. Whatever you feel would "cross-the-line" from reporting to making them feel bad... leave that out with us, too.
The more things you make kid-friendly, the more wanted and appreciated we will feel.
Maybe it's because we're women. Maybe it's because our lives are centered around reading little people's moods and intentions before their words ever come out. But I've found it to be a Mom-consensus--- if church events continually don't have kid (Mom) accommodations, we are going to assume you don't want us there. And if we're assuming you don't want us there, we're going to assume you don't value us. Hold one prayer meeting a month indoors and have the option of child care. Ask the parents of small children to go first in the buffet line at a fellowship event, or appoint people to help them carry those extra plates going through the buffet line. Offer child-care at your services, but also understand that many parents don't want to leave their kids with people they've never met--- make them feel welcome to have their kids with them. If you don't have a changing table handy, or a quiet-room for nursing, then don't give any dirty looks when she's changing a diaper in the pews or popping out a boob in the back row.
Set up opportunities for our family to serve together.
We want to help--- we really do--- and we want our kids to help too. I know they might be more of a hindrance at first, but the only way they will learn is to participate. Organize some "small" missions/service opportunities that we can take them to or allow them to participate in. Ask for our help in ways that we can actually give it--- putting together care packages, making cookies, visiting retirement homes, etc. Accept that we're not going to take our kids places that are unsafe or unwise (Anywhere outside in less than 40 or more than 100 degree weather? Anywhere where they are going to meet hookers or get cussed out by a gang member?) but we would love to bring them places where they can serve and learn in a safe manner.
Give Mom a hug
Sometimes Moms just need hugs. And pats on the back. And maybe a candy snuck into her hand while the kids aren't looking. And someone to recognize that what we do is hard work. If you see a Mom keep her temper while her child is acting out, go up to her afterward and tell her what a good job she's doing. If you notice some one's children being well-behaved during service or Sunday school, let them know. Look at the opportunity to dance with one of our children or have them pray for you as a blessing and not a burden. We spend all day, every day training them to love the Lord and have Godly character--- its nice when that's recognized!
I was so blessed last Sunday (this is going to sound horrible--- but its not) by not seeing my youngest son for the first hour of service. One of the younger women in our church spent the entire worship service dancing with him, even when his HEAVY little self was passed out and sweaty on her. I'm sure she would have been able to get more into worship without him, but I'm also SURE God rewarded her choice to spend time with him and bless me with free hands for that hour so that I could spend some distraction-free time loving the Lord.
Lastly, remember what Jesus did...
Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” After laying His hands on them, He departed from there. (Matthew 19:13-15)
I am so fortunate to have a pastor that loves my children and has such a Christ-like heart towards them. It's not uncommon to look up and see him with one of them on his hip during a sermon, or helping them lay hands on people to pray for them. He's teaching them the one thing that we, as parents, can't teach on our own--- that they are accepted and wanted and important in the body. That's something that only you, as a church, can do.
With my love,
From the trenches,
Beka... mom to lots of littles.
Monday, May 6, 2013
O.B.E.Y.
I'm sitting here pondering the idea of obedience...
And how it's the total antithesis of everything we are taught today.
So, you know, nothing too serious.
The funny thing about God is that he tells us essentially the same thing our parents tell us when we are little---
And there might be an explanation, and there might not. And it might take 5 seconds (in the way that we realize quickly why Mommy shouted "STOP" as we were running into the street) and it might take 5 years (in the way that we realize slowly why Mommy said "You cannot date that boy" many years later) and it might not come at all.
Hebrews 11:1 says "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." I think we usually take this verse in the context of blessings--- I'm going to have faith for something I don't have right now. But we also have to take it in the context of obedience--- we have to have faith that there is a substance, a reason, a "why" to what we're doing even if we don't see it at that moment, even if it doesn't make sense.
But that's not our way of life, is it? We do things because they have a reason, or because no one has given us a good enough reason not to do them. We don't "obey," we choose to follow, or choose to not follow. If someone tells us "no," we want to know "why not?" And if someone tells us "go," we want to know "why?"
That's not how God works. God wants our obedience, not our acquiescence. God doesn't want us to do something because we decided it's a good idea, because it makes sense in our crazy logic, because it serves us, because it's fun or pleasant or popular. God wants us to do it BECAUSE HE SAID SO.
Even the things in our lives that we *have to* obey aren't really concrete. How many times have I gone over the speed limit (broken the law, let's be honest here) because I thought "Well, when I get caught, I'll suffer the consequences." How many times have I downloaded a song onto my computer without paying for it, thinking "No one will ever know." I think that mindset extends deep down into our Christianity. We read the bible and think that "obey" really means "you probably aught to..." And we also think "Hey, I'll deal with the consequences *if* I get caught."
But here's the kicker: God knows. You always "get caught." You are caught before you even do it; God isn't a cop with a radar gun that we can avoid if we take the right streets. He's not an anti-piracy commission that's only going to go after the kids ripping off millions of dollars. He's God. He's there. He tells us (for hundreds of pages, thousands of verses) "This is what I want you to do, and this is what will happen when you don't." Isn't that crazy? I'm thinking about my life and thinking "How many things am I paying the price for right at this second because I let myself be deceived by the mindset that I would just deal with the consequences *if* I got caught?"
Don't get me wrong--- I feel like I have to add the obligatory "Jesus loves you" (He does) and "You can't lose your salvation once you've accepted Him" (you can't). But there are consequences for our actions.
How many things in the bible have I been waiting to obey, or accept, until I understand them? And how PRIDEFUL does that make me--- to say to the maker of the world, the Lord of all, "I'll do this once you give me a good reason. I'll obey that law once I feel like it."
And how it's the total antithesis of everything we are taught today.
So, you know, nothing too serious.
The funny thing about God is that he tells us essentially the same thing our parents tell us when we are little---
"Because I said so."
And there might be an explanation, and there might not. And it might take 5 seconds (in the way that we realize quickly why Mommy shouted "STOP" as we were running into the street) and it might take 5 years (in the way that we realize slowly why Mommy said "You cannot date that boy" many years later) and it might not come at all.
Hebrews 11:1 says "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." I think we usually take this verse in the context of blessings--- I'm going to have faith for something I don't have right now. But we also have to take it in the context of obedience--- we have to have faith that there is a substance, a reason, a "why" to what we're doing even if we don't see it at that moment, even if it doesn't make sense.
But that's not our way of life, is it? We do things because they have a reason, or because no one has given us a good enough reason not to do them. We don't "obey," we choose to follow, or choose to not follow. If someone tells us "no," we want to know "why not?" And if someone tells us "go," we want to know "why?"
That's not how God works. God wants our obedience, not our acquiescence. God doesn't want us to do something because we decided it's a good idea, because it makes sense in our crazy logic, because it serves us, because it's fun or pleasant or popular. God wants us to do it BECAUSE HE SAID SO.
Even the things in our lives that we *have to* obey aren't really concrete. How many times have I gone over the speed limit (broken the law, let's be honest here) because I thought "Well, when I get caught, I'll suffer the consequences." How many times have I downloaded a song onto my computer without paying for it, thinking "No one will ever know." I think that mindset extends deep down into our Christianity. We read the bible and think that "obey" really means "you probably aught to..." And we also think "Hey, I'll deal with the consequences *if* I get caught."
But here's the kicker: God knows. You always "get caught." You are caught before you even do it; God isn't a cop with a radar gun that we can avoid if we take the right streets. He's not an anti-piracy commission that's only going to go after the kids ripping off millions of dollars. He's God. He's there. He tells us (for hundreds of pages, thousands of verses) "This is what I want you to do, and this is what will happen when you don't." Isn't that crazy? I'm thinking about my life and thinking "How many things am I paying the price for right at this second because I let myself be deceived by the mindset that I would just deal with the consequences *if* I got caught?"
Don't get me wrong--- I feel like I have to add the obligatory "Jesus loves you" (He does) and "You can't lose your salvation once you've accepted Him" (you can't). But there are consequences for our actions.
How many things in the bible have I been waiting to obey, or accept, until I understand them? And how PRIDEFUL does that make me--- to say to the maker of the world, the Lord of all, "I'll do this once you give me a good reason. I'll obey that law once I feel like it."
“For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?
Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.” ---Luke 6:43-49
Friday, March 8, 2013
In the whale
I found possibly the best book ever at the library.
I found it lying at the end of the shelf during story time, and since Jonah is one of our tried-and-true favorite bible stories around here, I figured I'd pick it up for the girls to read.
They like it, but that's not what this post is about.
What this post is about is the fact that this book BLEW MY MIND.
And here is why:
It's all about the whale. It's all about how God created this whale, nurtured him, loved him, and basically orchestrated his entire life to be present for that fateful moment when Jonah had a rare inspired second of courage and told the sailors on his boat to throw him overboard.
And the whale was there. Not to punish him, but to SAVE HIM.
Maybe it's just me, but I have NEVER looked at that story (and, as I said, it's a favorite around here, so I've read it pretty often) with that perspective. But I don't think it's just me.
We read it thinking that the whale is a consequence, a punishment, a trial for Jonah. That due to his disobedience, he gets to spend 3 days in nasty-intestinal-fishiness.
And we apply this metaphor to our lives. That our problems or our trials or our difficulties (our "whales," if you will) are there as a valley on the way to the high places of our callings. That if we can get through all these bad things, we will make it to the other side.
But what if we change our perspective? What if God really did orchestrate that whale to be there at that moment not as a punishment, but as a savior?
It's called Jonah's Whale
Yeah, it's a kids book. So what?
I found it lying at the end of the shelf during story time, and since Jonah is one of our tried-and-true favorite bible stories around here, I figured I'd pick it up for the girls to read. They like it, but that's not what this post is about.
What this post is about is the fact that this book BLEW MY MIND.
And here is why:
It's all about the whale. It's all about how God created this whale, nurtured him, loved him, and basically orchestrated his entire life to be present for that fateful moment when Jonah had a rare inspired second of courage and told the sailors on his boat to throw him overboard.
And the whale was there. Not to punish him, but to SAVE HIM.
Maybe it's just me, but I have NEVER looked at that story (and, as I said, it's a favorite around here, so I've read it pretty often) with that perspective. But I don't think it's just me.
We read it thinking that the whale is a consequence, a punishment, a trial for Jonah. That due to his disobedience, he gets to spend 3 days in nasty-intestinal-fishiness.
And we apply this metaphor to our lives. That our problems or our trials or our difficulties (our "whales," if you will) are there as a valley on the way to the high places of our callings. That if we can get through all these bad things, we will make it to the other side.
But what if we change our perspective? What if God really did orchestrate that whale to be there at that moment not as a punishment, but as a savior?
"Suddenly, Whale saw the man Jonah flying through the air, hurtling into the sea. And God said to Whale, "Save the man Jonah." Whale had never saved a drowning man before. He opened his mouth as if to swallow a thousand tiny fish and--- sluuuuuurp! went the man Jonah..."
What if all these problems we are encountering are there not to hinder us, not to punish us, but to SAVE us? See, I realize now that the punishment, the consequence in the story was that Jonah was to drown. His disobedience and stubbornness and sin were causing the storm and were going to cause the deaths of the entire crew, and he knew that he had to jump overboard and drown himself to save everyone else. THAT was what was due to him. But God had mercy on him, and sent the whale to save him.
I'm sure Jonah didn't see it this way. Reading Jonah's prayer from inside the fish, he sounds pretty miserable. And I always picture him being kinda whiny (is that just me? He sounds like a whiny dude, right?) He was in there for 3 days, and all we read is a short snippet, that starts (basically--- my paraphrase) with "God, YOU did this to me!" And that's the way we sound most of the time, isn't it? "God, why are you doing this to me? God, why am I in this job? Why don't I have more money? Why can't I be happier/stronger/wealthier/more talented? God, why have you forgotten me?!?"
But maybe we need to shift our perspective and consider that maybe, just maybe, we are in the belly of the whale to be saved from drowning in the storm of our own making. Maybe, just maybe, what the consequences of our actions SHOULD be is much worse than fish guts and whale goo and seasickness (I mean, he must have been seasick, really). Or much worse than driving a dinky car and not being able to afford steak and working a job that sucks or ~insert problem here.~
Maybe God orchestrated our current situations from the very first moment of creation to save us from ourselves.
And maybe what we can learn from Jonah is to lift our eyes to the Lord (even hundreds of feet under the sea, in the belly of a whale) and say:
"When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, LORD, and my prayer rose to
you, to your holy temple. Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God's love for them. But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed
I will make good. I will say, 'Salvation comes from the LORD.' " (Jonah 2:7-9)
Because when Jonah finally did this, when he said "I'm going to praise you and keep my vows to you no matter what's going on, and I'm going to focus my eyes on the LORD and not on my circumstances," a great thing happened.
"...the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land."
The end.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Little Hands to Heaven--- Week 2
We finished our second week with "Heart of Dakota's Little Hands to Heaven" (read more about my search for a "good fit" preschool curriculum HERE).
I am SO SO SO happy with this program. Even though I had a bad stomach bug for about 4 days, school still got done. It is so easy and yet still hands on and interactive and FUN.
Week 2 was "B" week, and also the week we worked through the story of Noah's Ark and the Tower of Babel. Even though it's technically Bean's "school," Bug is really enjoying it as well. They both LOVED the finger play for this week and Bug is still walking around saying "Boat did float! Boat did float!"
I am SO SO SO happy with this program. Even though I had a bad stomach bug for about 4 days, school still got done. It is so easy and yet still hands on and interactive and FUN.
Week 2 was "B" week, and also the week we worked through the story of Noah's Ark and the Tower of Babel. Even though it's technically Bean's "school," Bug is really enjoying it as well. They both LOVED the finger play for this week and Bug is still walking around saying "Boat did float! Boat did float!"
We are using the recommended preschool bible, A Child's First Bible (click on picture to view!)
... BUT it's really not deep enough for Bean. So we're supplementing with The Beginner's Bible
and our own family bible, of course!
Also, we're using the recommended devotional for "older" pre-K kids, and it's working out really well. It has a memory verse for each letter of the alphabet and a 2-page story to go along with the verse. I put the verses to music because that really helps both Bean and I remember them.
Here are some highlights from Week 2!
Doing the "sink or float" experiment...
... and splashing around with little sis afterwards
This experiment was GREAT. Not only did she get to predict what would sink or float, but then she got to practice reading the chart and figuring out what they would do the second time. They have been "replicating" this for a week--- throwing all their toys in a laundry bin and pretending they're doing science!
Bean's BFF (we'll call her "Curls") spent a day doing school with us!
Decorating "B"s with bubble painting. Just mix a little water, some NON-TOXIC (very important, because all 3 girls decided to take a sip) paint, and some dish soap. So fun! I got in on the action too, but there's no pics of that. Thankfully :)
We also did some "credit-card" painting... Dave Ramsey would be so proud that I'm finding productive uses for my old credit cards ;) Had nothing to do with "B" or an ark, but it was fun!
Until next time...
Saturday, February 23, 2013
The new double standard
We have a weird
double standard going on in our culture,
which is this:
We collectively consider news stories about pregnant
woman being hurt or killed horrific. I was going to say more horrific than
a regular murder, but we have all become so desensitized to violence that “regular”
murder rarely makes a blip on our radars anymore. Run-of-the-mill assaults or
car crashes don’t even have a radar to blip on.
But when a pregnant woman is
involved in one of these things, it suddenly becomes a monstrous occurrence.
Men who beat their wives: bad. Men who beat their pregnant wives: monsters. Random
knifing… unpleasant. Random knifing of a pregnant woman’s stomach: Horrendous.
Car accident: run-of-the-mill. Car accident that involves pregnant woman:
terrifying. We even see this echoed on TV shows. How many dramas have used the “pregnant
woman in danger” scenario to increase tension? We are re-watching Lost and came
to the episode where Ana-Lucia is shot. You find out at the end that she was
pregnant… shortly before she kills the shooter. And you want to cheer for her, which
is, I’m sure, what the writer’s goal was. You think “You go girl! He killed
your baby! SHOOT HIM!!”
We find these things to be
heart-wrenching, even sickening. And they are. But if the same woman chose to
get an abortion in order to not bring that child into an abusive household, we’d cheer
her on. If that lady made it through that assault or car crash and into the
planned parenthood to “terminate the fetus,” she’d be a champion for women’s
rights. If the same character on Lost had a storyline about choosing to kill
the baby that she was murderous over, we’d be proud of their feminist stance.
Here’s the problem: What does
this say about us?
It says that a person’s value and worth, even their basic
humanity, is dependent on how much someone wants them.
We are horrified by the
first set of stories because we know they parents are horrified; that was their baby that they were planning for and naming and loving already. We accept (or
even cheer) the second set because the babies were unwanted and it was the
woman’s choice.
If you are wanted; if you are
loved, you are valuable.
If you are a burden; if you
are an inconvenience, you are worthless.
It’s funny, because it’s very
anti-American at its core. Our core values tell us that people have value
because they are people, and that it doesn’t matter who your parents are or
where you come from--- in fact, a vast majority of our laws are built to
protect those in society that are unwanted or unloved.
But our abortion laws tell us
just the opposite. They say that the ONLY thing that matters is who your
parents are and where you come from. Your entire future is based on who you
will (or will not) be born to. Your worth as a human is completely reliant on
and determined by your DNA.
We’ve had this in the past---
frequently--- and we find it abhorrent to look into the periods in our own
history (both human and American) where people were judged based on their
social class, their ethnicity or the color of their skin. They are probably the
biggest blemishes IN human history--- these decisions to oppress (or destroy)
entire people groups because they were deemed invaluable, or worthless, or
because they had the wrong DNA. These decisions to deem people "less than human" because they are unwanted or a hindrance, or because their presence makes someone else uncomfortable or less prosperous.
I wonder how history will look
at us…
Thursday, February 14, 2013
"Our" Story, Part One
Yep, this is gonna be one of those sloppy messy gooey love stories.
Eh, probably not ;)
But when I read other people's blogs, I am nosey and always want to know a bit of their backstory, so I'm sharing mine here.
My husband and I met in October 2004. At a pool hall. Yes, my friends, that is the story of how a youth pastor/worship leader and a youth pastor/homeschooling mother met. At a not-so-swanky much-more-divey pool hall.
He, as he would like to tell you, was a 23 year old "heathen." I was a *slightly* off-track 19 year old Christian girl. I was not newly but still pretty freshly off a bad breakup, and was not at all interested in entering a relationship. He as madly in love with me at first sight *hehehe.* (Hey, may not be the *completely* correct version, but that's what he gets for staying absent from the blogosphere. My version wins).
Nik used his best friend with the sexy Kiwi accent to try to lure my best friend and I into conversation, and it worked.
We became very fast friends and "pool-hall" buddies, but that was it. He was too much of a wild-guy for me, and I wasn't interested in dating someone who... drank as much beer as he did! (Sorry hubs, tried to find a nice way of putting it, but there just isn't one.)
One night after we played pool for a while, he drove home. Drunk. He says he was screaming out to God, asking Him for a reason to keep living and proof that He existed, when this happened.
When I pulled up to the crash site (unaware, mind you, what I was pulling up to, as he had told me he had "car problems" and needed me to come pick him up), he was being arrested for Drunk Driving (serves. him. right.) Apparently, me standing on the corner with the Kiwi laughing at him (hey, as I said, he deserved it) was the wake-up call he was asking for.
A few weeks later (post jailing, mind you), I was at a bible study with my (now) pastor and best friend. I spent the majority of the 2 hours on my face, crying, praying for healing. I wasn't sick, but I was broken--- a year of anger, hurt, and flat-out craziness had left me bitter and brokenhearted. I felt God touch me that night and begin to heal my heart, and by the end of the evening I remember telling God I was ready to start again, and move on with my life.
Only a few minutes later (literally as my phone re-gained service), my phone rang and Nik was on the other line. He invited me to go out with our friends that night, and I did.
I know it sounds crazy, but he was a different person and I saw him in a different light. You know that verse "All things work for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose"? He's pretty much a living example of that. He may not have "loved" God at this moment, but he was seeking Him and he is definitely called to Him.
I can only attribute it to God answering both of our prayers and Him opening my eyes to see Nik as God saw him that night. It was obvious after only a few minutes that he really was pretty in love with me (this time, it's the honest truth. Really). I decided to give him a chance.
And the rest, friends... is for another time.
Stay tuned for Part Deux.
 |
| Nik and I, February 2009. BC (Before Children) |
Eh, probably not ;)
But when I read other people's blogs, I am nosey and always want to know a bit of their backstory, so I'm sharing mine here.
My husband and I met in October 2004. At a pool hall. Yes, my friends, that is the story of how a youth pastor/worship leader and a youth pastor/homeschooling mother met. At a not-so-swanky much-more-divey pool hall.
He, as he would like to tell you, was a 23 year old "heathen." I was a *slightly* off-track 19 year old Christian girl. I was not newly but still pretty freshly off a bad breakup, and was not at all interested in entering a relationship. He as madly in love with me at first sight *hehehe.* (Hey, may not be the *completely* correct version, but that's what he gets for staying absent from the blogosphere. My version wins).
Nik used his best friend with the sexy Kiwi accent to try to lure my best friend and I into conversation, and it worked.
~~The Kiwi and I~~
We became very fast friends and "pool-hall" buddies, but that was it. He was too much of a wild-guy for me, and I wasn't interested in dating someone who... drank as much beer as he did! (Sorry hubs, tried to find a nice way of putting it, but there just isn't one.)
One night after we played pool for a while, he drove home. Drunk. He says he was screaming out to God, asking Him for a reason to keep living and proof that He existed, when this happened.
He took at railroad crossing WAY too fast and flew into a pole. He was honestly lucky to be alive, only a foot or so to the left and he would have been... mush.
As he was sitting in his car (unharmed, mind you), still raging at God, his phone rang, and guess who was on the other line?
**Me, Circa 2005**
When I pulled up to the crash site (unaware, mind you, what I was pulling up to, as he had told me he had "car problems" and needed me to come pick him up), he was being arrested for Drunk Driving (serves. him. right.) Apparently, me standing on the corner with the Kiwi laughing at him (hey, as I said, he deserved it) was the wake-up call he was asking for.
A few weeks later (post jailing, mind you), I was at a bible study with my (now) pastor and best friend. I spent the majority of the 2 hours on my face, crying, praying for healing. I wasn't sick, but I was broken--- a year of anger, hurt, and flat-out craziness had left me bitter and brokenhearted. I felt God touch me that night and begin to heal my heart, and by the end of the evening I remember telling God I was ready to start again, and move on with my life.
Only a few minutes later (literally as my phone re-gained service), my phone rang and Nik was on the other line. He invited me to go out with our friends that night, and I did.
I know it sounds crazy, but he was a different person and I saw him in a different light. You know that verse "All things work for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose"? He's pretty much a living example of that. He may not have "loved" God at this moment, but he was seeking Him and he is definitely called to Him.
I can only attribute it to God answering both of our prayers and Him opening my eyes to see Nik as God saw him that night. It was obvious after only a few minutes that he really was pretty in love with me (this time, it's the honest truth. Really). I decided to give him a chance.
--Niks first Kings game--
And the rest, friends... is for another time.
Stay tuned for Part Deux.
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