An Inconvenient Truth

**Warning--- this post concerns birth control and abortion. It is going to get touchy. Read on at your own risk**

I have been contemplating writing about this for a long time, but have avoided it because of a few reasons... that mainly boil down to knowing it will offend some people and step on peoples toes, and that I am not big on confrontation, especially of the Internet variety.

^^ That is not my intention, but I assure you, it is going to happen, so just brace yourself, and I will brace myself, and hopefully we can all come out of it as friends...

I am writing this because I wish someone would have told me this a long time ago...

Did you know that all forms of hormonal birth control (all forms that are cited on the "pregnancy prevention" page of the American Pregnancy Association) have a secondary function of preventing a fertilized egg from implanting?

Why am I saying this?

Because, through my study of scripture and human biology I have come to believe, as many Christians (and non-Christians) I know do, that life begins at conception. Meaning, sperm meets egg and joins to form a unique creation that we call "life." If you don't believe this, then that is a debate and a topic for another time. I urge you to take some serious time of prayer and study (both biblically and "scientifically") on this topic, but I'm not going to go any further on it. (**I will warn you that you might want to stop reading here, because the rest of this is really aimed towards people who have the above conviction.**)

However, if you do believe this--- that life begins at conception--- then hormonal birth control has the possibility of having abortive effects. What does this mean? This means that every month there is a chance (how small is not certain, but studies show that there is a 4-15% chance of ovulation/possibility of fertilization every month for women using the pill (click here, see point 8)) that a life is being ended due to the effects of taking hormonal birth control.

You might know this, or you might thinking what I was, which was a big "Whhhaaaattt?"

The primary function of hormonal birth control (depo shot, IUD, patch and pills) is to either prevent ovulation or prevent sperm from reaching a fertile egg. However, all of these forms of birth control have a secondary function (read--- ovulation occurs, or sperm gets through to egg, because they're persistent little buggers) of making the uterus unable/less able to support a pregnancy.

Meaning the egg gets fertilized, a life is formed, but it cannot grow because the drugs make this impossible. Essentially (and here comes the inconvenient truth that people are not going to like--- I know this because I did not like it myself)--- you are taking/using drugs which cause the end of an already started pregnancy, and an already forming life.

Now, I realize there are about a million reasons why people use birth control--- from just not wanting any more kids to financial issues to medical considerations for the mother and/or child. I realize that it is a very inconvenient truth. That, if this is new information to you, it probably throws a wrench in a lot of plans (or non-plans) that you have.

However, I have to say (and realize that this is said with compassion, even if it doesn't sound like it)--- so what.

Now this is the real crux of the matter, the real reason I've been driven to write this post--- and this is aimed specifically towards Christians, so if there's anyone out there still reading that doesn't buy into the whole Jesus thing, you're excluded here---

We have to practice what we preach.

 

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye."

--- Jesus

(Matthew 7:3-5, ESV)

 

 

If we preach that life is precious, that children are a blessing, that life begins at conception and that abortion is murder... then the only real answer to all our "buts" concerning hormonal birth control is

 

 

SO WHAT

 

 

If we would not view something as an "acceptable" reason to go to a clinic and get an abortion, why can we view it as an "acceptable" reason to end a pregnancy by using drugs?

 

Maybe because it's only a slight risk?

 

Let me ask those of you that already have children--- what is an acceptable *unnecessary* risk to your child's life? I understand we put them at risk every day, the world is a dangerous place. But how much of an unnecessary risk is acceptable? Would you put your child on a roller coaster or give them a skateboard if they had a 15% chance of dying? What about 5%? Would you take your kids to magic mountain if 5% of their guests died? What about 1%? If only 1% of guests at Magic Mountain died, would you buy them a ticket?

 

Again--- *if* we believe life begins at conception--- If I believe that life begins at conception, and therefore that the second sperm meets egg I have a child inside of me, then I am essentially playing that same odds game by using birth control.

 

I am going to argue here--- and you may think I'm wrong, but that's fine--- that it is always an unnecessary risk. Why? Because we have other options. If getting pregnant really will put your life or your child's life at risk, then honestly, you shouldn't be trusting these methods anyway, because they aren't 100%.

 

I get that this is an inflammatory, touchy subject. Maybe you're saying to yourself that it's none of my business, or that I don't know your situation. Both are probably true--- but aren't both true for women showing up at Planned Parenthood every day?

 

If I'm telling them their wrong, I have to look at myself, see the giant redwood protruding from my own eye, and realize that I, too, am wrong.

 

Again (and if it didn't come off this way, I am truly sorry), I say this out of love. I am putting this out there because I wish someone would have told me this information a long time ago, and Thank God I found out when I did and not many years later.

 

... and hopefully we're all still friends.

 

XOXO

Beka

 

 

 



Noah's Ark Rainbow

This week I have been teaching the girls about the story of Noah's Ark during our morning bible time.
One of the things we focused on this week (we've done this story a few times, with a few different focuses) is the goodness of God's promises.

I love that every time I see a rainbow in the sky, and now every time they see a rainbow in the sky, they can be reminded of God's love and his enduring promises.

The craft I did this week with bean was making a scrap-paper rainbow. I love this craft for a few reasons. It's great for fine motor skills, it builds hand strength, and it also works her memory, logic, and color matching.

First, I made a "dot" rainbow on a paper of white construction paper.

I use this method for a lot of our projects the require glue--- it's really good for "beginning" gluers who don't quite get the concept yet. She knows just where to put it and about how much (enough to cover the dot).

I cut out about 9-10 squares each of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple.
Then, I let her go at it!

It actually took bean about 3 sessions to finish, she didn't want to do it for longer than 5 minutes each time.

Little Bug wanted to play, too, so I gave her the rainbow-colored markers. Some of it even made it onto her paper...

The finished product!!

Until next time...

Preschool Lesson Planning: Units and Themes

This is one of a few posts about how I plan our preschool lessons.

Thank you, captain obvious.

I am not a "pintrest perfect" kind of person--- I don't have every day meticulously mapped out or our school room decorated perfectly to match the theme. Most days I'm not really sure what *specifically* we're going to do until we do it. This works for us--- I think it's actually a great strategy for toddlers and preschoolers as it is very flexible. So, if you're yearning for this type of existence (hehe), read along.

If you're the kind of person that needs every minute of the day mapped out, I'm telling you this might not be the best post for you. Well, actually, it might, as I have some (I think) good tips for beginning lesson planning, as that's as far as I generally get. So that could be helpful :)

Uno:
Pick a theme.

I have a "school binder" that I write down ideas in--- at some point this was intended to be a schedule and a lesson planner, but that failed miserably. But I keep it by our school stuff and write down themes and ideas as they come to me. Like "Hey, we should do construction vehicles, it'd be cool to build a whole construction site in the playroom." (Whoa now, that IS a good idea. To the binder I go...) So I have a list of themes that I *think* bean and possibly bug will be interested in. Some of them are random (like the construction idea), some spurred by conversations we've had (like if she asks a lot of questions about certain things one week, maybe the human body or seasons, etc.), and some are more methodical (centered around holidays, events, etc).

Some of the themes we have done or plan to do:
Pirates
Clouds/Sky (Creation Day 2)
Plants and Trees (Creation Day 3)
Space/The Universe (Creation Day 4)
Oceans/Fish (Creation Day 5)
Birds (Creation Day 5)
The Human Body (Creation Day 6)
Family
Where I Live
Helpers
Hockey (you knew it was coming--- sadly, probably not coming this season)
Construction (Bean LOVES "snorts"--- or bulldozers, as others call them)
The Farm

For pretty much the whole year our theme has been "The Days of Creation." This worked really well for our first year because it was pretty much tailor made. There are 7-ish set things to study, they go in order, and it gives me a good guideline. It's easy to work in our bible time with little-to-no-reaching (like there was with the pirate theme).

This upcoming unit we are doing Day 5--- Fish and Birds. Actually, we are just doing Fish/Oceans for the first part.

I have been interpreting the "Creation" themes fairly liberally--- for example, we did Day 2 as clouds and sky, based on Genesis 1:6-8 (Then God said, "Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters." Thus God made the firmament, and divided the waters which [were] under the firmament from the waters which [were] above the firmament; and it was so.And God called the firmament Heaven. So the evening and the morning were the second day.")
Day 4, which we are currently doing, when God created the sun, moon and stars (Genesis 1:14-19), is a general overview of space--- including planets, comets, asteroids, etc.


The reason I like this system of choosing topics is twofold: it's flexible and it's child-led. At Bean's age (a ripe ole 3), she can learn her basics from pretty much any topic. I can teach letters using blocks and construction as easily as using stars and planets. I can do math and patterns with flowers as well as with hockey pucks. I know the basics of where she is and where she needs to go and I have some activities that I can do with any topic that we pick (I think. We'll see if she stumps me one day with something off the wall and nutso).  If her interests change (like she doesn't like snorts in a few weeks) before I get to use a unit--- oh well. I just use a different one. If I can't find and/or get all the books I want for a specific subject (and Bean reads... this kid will go through 10-12 library books, at least, on any given topic, so this has been an issue for us) I just choose something else.

Not sure if that was too helpful except to say this: the great thing about doing preschool at home is that it can be very interest-led, so the sky is the limit!!

Stay tuned: Next post (on this subject, at least) will be about the actual meat of the "curriculum" of each theme. Exciting, eh?

Bittersweet Christmas

It's that time of year ago...

That time of presents and trees and Santa and... oh, wait.

No, it's not THAT time.

That time of Jesus.

It's THAT time.

Last night at a Ladies Christmas Party, a beautiful young woman with a beautiful voice sang a beautiful song called "Breath of Heaven." Its a song written from the perspective of Mary. And it got me thinking, as pretty much everything Mary-related does this time of year, about the mother of God.

I know this is a happy time of year, when we celebrate the only gift that really matters, the gift of God's love through his Son, Jesus.

But it's a bittersweet time, too, and anything about Mary makes me remember the sad side of Christmas.

I remember very clearly one of the saddest moments I have had as a mother--- I was sitting in the hospital with my brand new baby, my first baby, my little Bean, staring at her sweet little face in the middle of the night. And it hit me--- I cannot protect her. One day, too soon, this sweet little face is going to be crumpled up in heartache over the first time a friend betrays her. Over the first time she is invisible to the boy she likes. Over the first time her heart is broken. And I can't stop it.

Bean was born at the start of the Christmas season, and I remember thinking that night about Mary. We read about the angel appearing to her and her faithfulness. But we don't read about her sorrow. We don't read about what must have been happening in her heart--- she knew she was carrying the Son of God,; she knew she was carrying the Messiah. She knew she was carrying a baby she would love with all her heart. And she knew, she MUST have known, being a Jewish woman, what her baby would face in His life. She knew, for 9 months and 30 years after that, that the baby she loved with all her heart would face severe rejection, ridicule, hatred, and eventually a beating that left Him unable to be recognized followed by a horrible death. And she couldn't stop it.

And I am brought to tears now every time I think about this woman who not only faced the worst heartache any woman can face--- the death of their child--- but lived the majority of her life and all of His life with that looming on the horizon. And then I realize that not only did Mary face this--- God the father faced this as well. With even more knowledge. With even more foresight.  But He loved us enough to do it. He loves us THAT much.

I'm not trying to be a downer, but let's be honest--- Christmas is nothing without the sacrifice of the cross to follow it. If all we think about on Christmas is joy, we are missing something--- a HUGE something--- that this sweet baby who's birthday we are celebrating lived a short thirty-something years on earth and died a horrific death.

And that, on top of that, Christ lived his whole life KNOWING not only that He was destined to die, but that He was destined to die in that horrible way. Do you realize that? That as a Jewish child, Jesus had to be fully versed in the scriptures by the time he reached "adulthood" in the Jewish world--- 13. And the scriptures clearly tell of the kind of death the Messiah would face. And crucifixion was a VERY common death in that day; so common that he probably walked by men dying this death on the side of the road on a daily basis. So, by the time he was 13, Jesus faced every day knowing the death that was to come to Him, and he chose to do it anyway.

Is Christmas joyful? Of course! God loves us! We are washed in His blood because of what started on Christmas. But it's nothing without the sacrifice and the sadness that comes with it...

Choosing Joy

I read a great post on The Marathon Mom the other day, entitled "Dear Overwhelmed Mother of Little Ones." It is a great post and I really recommend everyone read it. If you don't have a house full of incoherent little devils... I mean, sweet little angel preschoolers and toddlers... then read it to gain some understanding of those of us that do. If you do... read it because you need to read it. It will make your day (although it might make you cry, so if this is the one day you decided to opt for mascara, maybe wait until tomorrow).

Anyway, it got me thinking about the verse in Romans that talks about renewing the mind:

 

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is--- his good, pleasing and perfect will.

--Romans 12:2

 

 

As I was driving in the car today, trying not to lose my patience with my sassy little 3-year-old, I started adding up all the "I won'ts" and "I can'ts" and "I will do" in my brain--- basically, succumbing to the "pattern of this world" that tells me that I should be depressed, overwhelmed, stressed, and self-pitying about my current *domestic* state. Things such as "I won't go on an adult vacation/sleep through the night/pee by myself for another ??? years" or "I can't leave the house without a diaper bag/make plans more than 2 weeks ahead/leave the cupboards open for another ??? years" or "I will change ??? diapers/make ??? bottles/ get peed/pooped/puked on ??? times before I'm done raising kids."

 

And then, the stress became compounded. I could hear the devil whispering in my ear "This is coming from your choice to continue having children. You could stop and go on a cruise in less than a year. You could stop and have no more diapers in 2 years. You could stop and have your body back, your nights restful, your house clean, etc etc etc." And part of me wanted to give into it.

 

But then a stronger voice, the voice of the Holy Spirit, came soaring in, telling me "be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." And the love of God filled my heart and reassured me: not that any of those things were necessarily lies, because they aren't, but that I am doing HIS will, and while those things may be true, there are stronger, higher, brighter truths as well.

 

It is true that there is no end in sight for us--- no end to baby, toddler, preschool, and in the future pre-teen and teenage years. And I could choose to listen to ramblings of a crazy man (ie, the devil) and wallow in the negatives that come along with each of those, and let that wallowing drag me off the path I know I am meant to walk.

 

 

OR

 

 

I can renew my mind and give myself a Godly attitude (as many times a day as it takes). I can strive to be like the person in Psalm 1:

 

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
² But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
³ He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in its season
And its leaf does not wither;
And in whatever he does, he prospers.
⁴ The wicked are not so,
But they are like chaff which the wind drives away.
⁵ Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
⁶ For the LORD knows the way of the righteous,
But the way of the wicked will perish.

 

Granted, I was in the car with a *sassy* (that's really the nicest word I have right now) child, so it didn't all come this clearly. But, the scaffolding was there :) And the main point that I did get was this: I can choose joy. I can meditate on what God has promised me, and I can us that to renew my mind, and I can choose joy--- because once we look for it (and we don't have to look hard), joy is there.

 

And the biggest reason it's there, for me, is this: There are a million little things to love about the phase of life that we currently find ourselves. Many more than there are things to hate, although the things to hate push themselves to the front of the line and scream "Me! Me! Right here!" while the things to love wait patiently and sweetly behind them.

 

Things like:

-How funny toddlers find it to escape mid-diaper change and run around the house naked, laughing like an insane person.

-A preschoolers eagerness to help-- even when that help isn't all that helpful--  that is going to evaporate much faster than I want it to.

-The amazing love and joy that comes from a child that is sick or hurt and depends totally on you to fix them.

- Midnight snuggles

- Car rides and neighborhood walks where my kids discover things they never knew existed-- like Roly Poly bugs. Or sprinklers. Or lawn gnomes. Or bulldozers.

- Always having snacks in my purse for when I get hungry ;)

- How proud my daughters are of me when I go potty. Goooooo Mommy!

- Seeing the unique uses for common household items that I would have never imagined had that cupboard not been raided.

- Watching my daughter turn into a person with her own thoughts, feelings and attitude... even if I don't always like that attitude...

- How sweet a little hand touching your cheek and saying "Time to wake up, Mommy" can be, even if it's 6am.

 

 

And what makes them so precious is that I don't know how long they are going to last. I may be blessed beyond measure and get to experience them again (even 5, 6, or 7 agains) or I may be a person to whom the Lord chooses to say "No, you're done now." Part of the joy comes from not knowing if this is going to last for 20 years or if it will be over in a few short months. And I won't know until that happens, so my best bet, the smart thing to do, and even the selfish thing to do is to choose to take all the good things and focus on them for however long they are there.

 

Lastly (I promise): my encouragement for myself, and I hope my encouragement for other people, is to rest on the promise of God in Psalm 1. He promises that if we delight in His law, if we meditate on His word, we WILL yield fruit. We WILL prosper in whatever we do.

 

Can I get an amen??

 

XOXO,

Me

 

PS: My list above is by no means exhausting. Please, comment and add your little moments of "choosing joy" for whatever season you're in. I'd love to read them and add them to my list of things to watch for :)



3 under 3 no longer...

... or, "Happy Birthday to my Baby Girl!"

My little-not-so-little bean is 3 years old today. In honor of her momentous third birthday, this post will be dedicated to all things JoJoBeans.
So, if that doesn't interest you, please go away.

If you are part of the cool club (i.e. subscribe to the "JoJo is awesome" philosophy), feel free to peruse the following and add your own comments, pictures, memories and thoughts about my awesome little girl at the bottom.

Here is my sweet little baby at 2 weeks old!

 

And here she is yesterday...

 

 

This little girl changed my entire life. I never knew how much it was possible to love someone until she came into the world.

 

 

I can't believe this little bean (1 month, above) has grown into such a beautiful, smart, talented little girl. She amazes me every day with her wit, her love, and her crazy personality.

This picture was taken during our church worship practice a few weeks ago, where she took over the lead singing responsibility and rocked out to "How He Loves Us." She has such a heart for worship and for loving God--- what a blessing to have her teaching us how to have true "childlike faith" every day!

I'm finding it really hard to put down on "paper" anything concrete about little Bean... so I'll bomb you with a few more adorable pictures and then be done with it!

Happy 3rd Birthday my beautiful girl! I love you!!!



Welcome to the World, Baby Boy!

As I'm sure everyone knows, we welcomed our third beautiful blessing into the world on November 1st at 10:42 am.

He is beautiful and perfect and I am so in love with him! Even though, clearly, he is not too in love with me in this picture. Hey, birth isn't easy for any involved. Even Hubby had to take a much more active approach this time around--- I'm sure he got a bit more of a *peek* than either of us would have preferred, but he did a great job and was really helpful!

Let me just get these answers out of the way:
No, we are not done now that we "got our boy."
Yes, we want more.
I have no idea when we will have more--- whenever God decides to bless us with another.
Yes, my hands are very full. Better full than empty!
No, we aren't trying to beat the Duggars (as if we're even close at this point, really) but we are aiming for a decent-sized hockey team ;)
Really, if your kids were this cute, you'd keep reproducing too

 

 

(Isn't his rockstar hair awesome! I love it...)

I was going to say everything went really quickly, but clearly the postpartum hormones are kicking in and already making me forget the 3 days of "prodromal" labor that happened before the super-quick actual labor. I had contractions (yes, real contractions--- painful, can't walk or talk contractions) every 10-40 minutes from Monday afternoon to Wednesday night. Luckily, I got to sleep Wednesday. I woke up at 6am thinking "Hm, no contractions all night. Maybe that's done with."

Well, my water broke about 5 seconds after that, so I guess I was kinda right! I called Nik to come home (because, of course, he had gone to work for the first time in 4 days--- and had literally just clocked in and sat down with his coffee, in that order) and my Mom to come over. By the time she got there around 6:20 I was having contractions about 3-5 minutes apart, strong, but not too bad.

We headed to the hospital around 7, got there about 8. By that time I couldn't walk or talk through the contractions. I got checked in, told the random person pushing my wheel chair "I'd like an epidural. Like yesterday."

The contractions were bad, but not as bad as I remember with Jordan. I puked around 9, and they totally changed quality (I guess that was *transition* or whatever--- I'm totally not up on this labor stuff.) I think I got the epidural around 10, at which point I kept telling the nurses I felt "funny," they checked me and said "Oh, you're ready to push." Like I said, totally not up on this labor thing--- I guess I'll know better for next time.

Everything else was a bit of a blur--- Nik had left the room for the epidural, and I guess I was REALLY ready because they started breaking everything down and calling the doctor and forgot that Nik wasn't there. I had to keep telling them "Go get my husband!"

He came in right as they had me start pushing. Like I said, he was a trooper--- I was really impressed considering he kinda hid like a deer in headlights with Jordan. Little Man was born only a few minutes later.

I felt really great after birth--- not too tired or worn out or grumpy or anything!

Everyone is doing really well. He had a little jaundice but is all cleared up. Little Bug was having some jealousy issues but she seems to be adjusting better now that I'm up and about more and am able to give her more attention. It's definitely an adjustment to be nursing instead of using bottles, but it's working out well. Thank God Nik is able to be home for 6 weeks, because I don't know what kind of craziness would be going on around here if I was trying to handle all three of them on my own already!

Love from us,