Kindness

These past two weeks we have been learning about Kindness in our morning character time.

... I have noticed that whatever character quality we are studying is the one that the devil really tempts both Bean and our whole family with at that time... sucks to be him, though, because I'm taking this as an encouragement and "counting it all joy" instead of being deterred!

As I wrote about in my initial post on our character studies, we use a few tools to help with these morning study times:

--We Choose Virtues mini-posters and Character Chart
-- "God, I need to talk to you about..." books by Dan Carr
-- Character Builders DVDs
-- Memory Verses
-- Bible stories that relate to what we're studying

So, for this *series* (for lack of a better word) we're reading "God, I need to talk to you about... sharing and hurting others" which are both really relevant to an almost-3-year-old, as well as watching the Character Builders on Sharing and Kindness.

Our current memory verse is Luke 6:31 "Do to others as you would have them do to you."

We are reading about The Good Samaritan and Jesus healing the paralytic who was lowered through the roof.

It's really funny how the things that a preschooler struggles with are the same things I struggle with as an adult. That's the one thing these character studies have really convicted me of---

I am no better than a preschooler.

My problems are slightly more mature (sometimes) or complicated (sometimes), but really no different. We are trying to teach her to "Use gentle hands, nice words, and think about how others feel."  That part I (sometimes--- are we catching a theme here?) have down. But the most important part is that we want her to show kindness to others even when she doesn't feel like it, when they are mean or unkind to her, and when they don't *deserve* it. Why? Because this is what Christ did, and continues to do, for us. He shows us love, forgiveness, grace, and yes, kindness when we least deserve it. When we've denied Him, or disappointed Him, or disobeyed Him, or ignored everything He's told us, he returns all those downright *mean* actions with love and kindness. With gentle words, kind correction, and thinking about what is best for us.

And how often does my first reaction to some one's actions--- no matter how I try to intellectualize it or reword it so it sounds grown-up and responsible--- really amount to "But they're being mean to me! I don't wanna be nice!!!" I'm only a (sometimes VERY small) step away from chucking a toy at their head and screaming "I don't like you!" while stomping into a corner to pout.
... or yelling angrily what an idiot someone is while flashing angry hand gestures and speeding as fast as I can to get in front of them and cut them off in turn...



I asked Bean to tell me ways she can practice kindness and wrote them down. I said "How can you be kind to..." and listed people. This is word-for-word what she said:

My Sister: "Not push her, share toys."
My Dad: "Not get in trouble, listen to him, give him hugs and kisses."
My Dog: "Pet him."
My Mom" "Use Nice Words to her."
Jesus: "Give him hugs, celebrate his birthday, not think about myself--- think about Jesus and THEN myself after."

Little Smarty Pants

I had a real "Ah-ha!" moment last night.

I have to remember that my sweet little Bean is ONLY *almost* 3.

She is such a smarty pants. I mean, I know all parents say that, but really. The kid is a little genius. She so often behaves like a typical 4 or 5 year old that sometimes (many times) I forget that she ISN'T.

Most of the time, this isn't a problem. I don't have any intention of dumbing things down for her or talking to her like I'm "supposed" to talk to a 2-year-old.

But sometimes that 2-year-old comes out and I forget that, when that happens, I need to treat her like the toddler that she is.

So last night she had a LATE night. She was up until 11pm at our WONDERFUL babysitters house. When we got there to pick her up, she had a M-E-L-T-D-O-W-N. Not a fall to the floor, scream hit and cry meltdown (I think that would have been easier!). She just started making this horrible, high-pitched whine and WOULD NOT STOP.

And, I admit, I had a Mommy of the Year moment and honestly forgot that she's only 2. I got SO irritated at her for whining and not listening and being all around unreasonable. Because, I realized later, I was expecting reasonable behavior for a 4 year old, and not for her sweet little 2 year old self.

Her breakdown was totally normal and totally acceptable and TOTALLY my fault (I mean, really, what kid needs to stay up 3 hours past her bedtime?). Luckily, my wonderful husband had his head screwed on right and didn't overreact. He pulled me back in, and as we were driving home and I was stretched in an awkward car-yoga position to hold her little foot while simultaneously trying to sing (with hand motions) Itsy-Bitsy Spider, I had my "Ah-Ha" moment.

... one I expect will be the first of many...