Happy Birthday Xander James

Well, "Baby" is not a baby anymore...

 

 

Guess who's birthday it is???

I can't believe my little man is ONE YEAR OLD tomorrow!

 

 

I have to admit, after having two daughters, I never thought I'd really enjoy being Mommy to a little boy nearly as much as I do--- but I love love love him so much!

 

 

He is FOR SURE my most spoiled baby--- I can't resist his sweet little face :)

 

 

 

In honor of his big O-N-E, a little tribue to the little man:

 

 

 

 

Hello, my name is Xander James.

But people call me: Xan Man, Bubba

My favorite foods are: Bananas, Cheddar Cheese

My least favorite foods are: Beef (of any kind), beans

My favorite song is: If You're Happy and You Know It, The Anthem by Jake Hamilton

I love to: Splash (especially in the toilet) and unroll the toilet paper.

I do not like: Long car rides, naps, being locked out of the bathroom.

My special tricks: "Hallelujah," arguing (in sign language AND english), mimicking everything my sisters do, playing drums like a boss

Now that I'm one, these are the signs I know: more, dog, please, thank you, yes, Dad, diaper.

What Mom and Dad think I'll be when I grow up: A demolition dude, a drummer, some sort of scream-o worship leader, or a revolutionary :)



Dear Church: Help for Moms in the Trenches

This is some advice I have compiled after talking to many of my Mommy friends about the trials and struggles they have gone through having lots of littles in the church world. I know I am always looking for ways to encourage other moms, so hopefully this will help others be able to build up and offer encouragement to someone that might need it today!

Dear Church,

I know we are not always the most productive members of your service. We can't always show up to extra meetings or get up at 6am to pray. We rarely have enough energy to help set up for special events or clean up after fellowship nights. Our little ones are usually the ones getting underfoot in your prayer lines or being stumbled over during praise and worship. We don't have the expendable income of the single twenty-somethings or the older couples without any diaper expenses. We can't drop everything to travel to dangerous countries for missions or even to spend the day on skid row handing out lunches.

But we are making an eternal impact. You might not see it now--- but if you look at the teenagers that aren't having sex, aren't doing drugs, aren't having to be dragged kicking and screaming to service--- if you look at the twenty-somethings that ARE going to your prayer meetings, making those mission trips, putting 50% of their paycheck in the offering---- if you look at those people, and do a little math, you will see what we are contributing.

And although it isn't immediate, or fast, or even snail-paced, our work is hard and we would love a little support from our fellow church members. Maybe you haven't been in this particular battle yet, or maybe you've moved out of it and your mind has blocked out the warfare to protect itself. If so, I would love to offer you some practical suggestions for how to support the women who are in the diaper filled, spit-up covered, tantrum laden trenches of having lots of little ones and not much extra sanity to spare.

Offer to help, and mean it, before we can ask
We don't want to have to ask someone to hold the baby while we deal with our 3 year old's tantrum. We don't want to burden someone who is clearly enjoying service with having to help carry out the diaper bag, car seat, toy bag, bumbo, sippy cups, snack bag, and babies to the car because someone pooped through their diaper and we forgot the change of clothes. So, if you see a Mom that is about to be in the middle of a melt-down, offer a hand. Without her asking. Pick up her bags and help her go to the car. Joyfully come play with baby while the toddler is screaming. Ask if you can help make that bottle while she watches her other little ones.

The other day in service, my 3 year old LOST it. My baby was hungry. I literally sat there, staring at the two of them having simultaneous melt-downs, so torn between which to take care of that I couldn't move. A woman I hardly know came over, sat down with the baby and just smiled and said "It's ok, I've got him. You go ahead." No judgement, no annoyance. She just sat down and entertained the baby, happy to help.
If you're a mom of small children you will understand that I am crying tears of gratitude just remembering it. If that makes no sense to you... just take it from me. It means THAT much.

Understand that the crying that is driving you crazy near the end of the service is actually a win for us, because they made it that long.
I know it's annoying. I know the sound of a crying baby is like nails on a chalkboard. But I also know how heartbreaking it is to feel SO accomplished (Yes! He made it 30 minutes today!) only to turn around and see the annoyed stares of people wishing that baby would just shut up. Understand that the 30 minutes of good behavior you witnessed was probably the result of weeks of slow and repetitive training and work on Mommy's part. Have some grace with us.

Don't make us feel bad for not being able to attend events that are not kid-friendly.
We understand that there are some great things going on in the body of Christ--- God is moving in some incredible ways. We pray for you. We rejoice with you. But that doesn't mean it doesn't rub salt in the wound when we have to hear about everyone else getting to join in the party while we're stuck at home with a sick child. Or a healthy child, because the prayer meeting was somewhere little kids just can't function. Understand that sometimes (most times) we miss these things because we do not want our children to be an unnecessary distraction --- I may be able to "get in the spirit" with .5 seconds notice, then out to scold someone, then back into it, then back out to tie a shoe, then back into it, then back out to wipe a nose--- but I know most other people can't. We stay home because many times the best contribution we can make is not being there. But that doesn't mean we don't want to be there, and that doesn't mean we want to hear... over and over again... about all the great things that are happening without us.

I think this is a good rule of thumb between informing and bragging--- use the same measure you would use with someone who was for some reason bed-ridden and couldn't make it. Whatever you would tell them, tell us. Whatever you would ask them to pray for, ask us. Whatever you feel would "cross-the-line" from reporting to making them feel bad... leave that out with us, too.

The more things you make kid-friendly, the more wanted and appreciated we will feel.
Maybe it's because we're women. Maybe it's because our lives are centered around reading little people's moods and intentions before their words ever come out. But I've found it to be a Mom-consensus--- if church events continually don't have kid (Mom) accommodations, we are going to assume you don't want us there. And if we're assuming you don't want us there, we're going to assume you don't value us. Hold one prayer meeting a month indoors and have the option of child care. Ask the parents of small children to go first in the buffet line at a fellowship event, or appoint people to help them carry those extra plates going through the buffet line. Offer child-care at your services, but also understand that many parents don't want to leave their kids with people they've never met--- make them feel welcome to have their kids with them. If you don't have a changing table handy, or a quiet-room for nursing, then don't give any dirty looks when she's changing a diaper in the pews or popping out a boob in the back row.

Set up opportunities for our family to serve together.
We want to help--- we really do--- and we want our kids to help too. I know they might be more of a hindrance at first, but the only way they will learn is to participate. Organize some "small" missions/service opportunities that we can take them to or allow them to participate in. Ask for our help in ways that we can actually give it--- putting together care packages, making cookies, visiting retirement homes, etc. Accept that we're not going to take our kids places that are unsafe or unwise (Anywhere outside in less than 40 or more than 100 degree weather? Anywhere where they are going to meet hookers or get cussed out by a gang member?) but we would love to bring them places where they can serve and learn in a safe manner.

Give Mom a hug
Sometimes Moms just need hugs. And pats on the back. And maybe a candy snuck into her hand while the kids aren't looking. And someone to recognize that what we do is hard work. If you see a Mom keep her temper while her child is acting out, go up to her afterward and tell her what a good job she's doing. If you notice some one's children being well-behaved during service or Sunday school, let them know. Look at the opportunity to dance with one of our children or have them pray for you as a blessing and not a burden. We spend all day, every day training them to love the Lord and have Godly character--- its nice when that's recognized!

I was so blessed last Sunday (this is going to sound horrible--- but its not) by not seeing my youngest son for the first hour of service. One of the younger women in our church spent the entire worship service dancing with him, even when his HEAVY little self was passed out and sweaty on her. I'm sure she would have been able to get more into worship without him, but I'm also SURE God rewarded her choice to spend time with him and bless me with free hands for that hour so that I could spend some distraction-free time loving the Lord.

Lastly, remember what Jesus did...

Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”  After laying His hands on them, He departed from there.  (Matthew 19:13-15)

I am so fortunate to have a pastor that loves my children and has such a Christ-like heart towards them. It's not uncommon to look up and see him with one of them on his hip during a sermon, or helping them lay hands on people to pray for them. He's teaching them the one thing that we, as parents, can't teach on our own--- that they are accepted and wanted and important in the body. That's something that only you, as a church, can do.

With my love,
From the trenches,

Beka... mom to lots of littles.

O.B.E.Y.

I'm sitting here pondering the idea of obedience...

And how it's the total antithesis of everything we are taught today.

So, you know, nothing too serious.


The funny thing about God is that he tells us essentially the same thing our parents tell us when we are little---

"Because I said so."

And there might be an explanation, and there might not. And it might take 5 seconds (in the way that we realize quickly why Mommy shouted "STOP" as we were running into the street) and it might take 5 years (in the way that we realize slowly why Mommy said "You cannot date that boy" many years later) and it might not come at all.

Hebrews 11:1 says "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." I think we usually take this verse in the context of blessings--- I'm going to have faith for something I don't have right now. But we also have to take it in the context of obedience--- we have to have faith that there is a substance, a reason, a "why" to what we're doing even if we don't see it at that moment, even if it doesn't make sense.

But that's not our way of life, is it? We do things because they have a reason, or because no one has given us a good enough reason not to do them. We don't "obey," we choose to follow, or choose to not follow. If someone tells us "no," we want to know "why not?" And if someone tells us "go," we want to know "why?"

That's not how God works. God wants our obedience, not our acquiescence. God doesn't want us to do something because we decided it's a good idea, because it makes sense in our crazy logic, because it serves us, because it's fun or pleasant or popular. God wants us to do it BECAUSE HE SAID SO.

Even the things in our lives that we *have to* obey aren't really concrete. How many times have I gone over the speed limit (broken the law, let's be honest here) because I thought "Well, when I get caught, I'll suffer the consequences." How many times have I downloaded a song onto my computer without paying for it, thinking "No one will ever know." I think that mindset extends deep down into our Christianity. We read the bible and think that "obey" really means "you probably aught to..." And we also think "Hey, I'll deal with the consequences *if* I get caught."

But here's the kicker: God knows. You always "get caught." You are caught before you even do it; God isn't a cop with a radar gun that we can avoid if we take the right streets. He's not an anti-piracy commission that's only going to go after the kids ripping off millions of dollars.  He's God. He's there. He tells us (for hundreds of pages, thousands of verses) "This is what I want you to do, and this is what will happen when you don't."  Isn't that crazy? I'm thinking about my life and thinking "How many things am I paying the price for right at this second because I let myself be deceived by the mindset that I would just deal with the consequences *if* I got caught?"

Don't get me wrong--- I feel like I have to add the obligatory "Jesus loves you" (He does) and "You can't lose your salvation once you've accepted Him" (you can't). But there are consequences for our actions.

How many things in the bible have I been waiting to obey, or accept, until I understand them? And how PRIDEFUL does that make me--- to say to the maker of the world, the Lord of all, "I'll do this once you give me a good reason. I'll obey that law once I feel like it."

“For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit,  for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.  

“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?

Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.”  ---Luke 6:43-49

In the whale

I found possibly the best book ever at the library.

It's called Jonah's Whale

 

Yeah, it's a kids book. So what?

 



I found it lying at the end of the shelf during story time, and since Jonah is one of our tried-and-true favorite bible stories around here, I figured I'd pick it up for the girls to read.

They like it, but that's not what this post is about.

What this post is about is the fact that this book BLEW MY MIND.

And here is why:

It's all about the whale. It's all about how God created this whale, nurtured him, loved him, and basically orchestrated his entire life to be present for that fateful moment when Jonah had a rare inspired second of courage and told the sailors on his boat to throw him overboard.

And the whale was there. Not to punish him, but to SAVE HIM.

Maybe it's just me, but I have NEVER looked at that story (and, as I said, it's a favorite around here, so I've read it pretty often) with that perspective. But I don't think it's just me.

We read it thinking that the whale is a consequence, a punishment, a trial for Jonah. That due to his disobedience, he gets to spend 3 days in nasty-intestinal-fishiness.

And we apply this metaphor to our lives. That our problems or our trials or our difficulties (our "whales," if you will) are there as a valley on the way to the high places of our callings. That if we can get through all these bad things, we will make it to the other side.

But what if we change our perspective? What if God really did orchestrate that whale to be there at that moment not as a punishment, but as a savior?

"Suddenly, Whale saw the man Jonah flying through the air, hurtling into the sea. And God said to Whale, "Save the man Jonah." Whale had never saved a drowning man before. He opened his mouth as if to swallow a thousand tiny fish and--- sluuuuuurp! went the man Jonah..."

 

What if all these problems we are encountering are there not to hinder us, not to punish us, but to SAVE us? See, I realize now that the punishment, the consequence in the story was that Jonah was to drown. His disobedience and stubbornness and sin were causing the storm and were going to cause the deaths of the entire crew, and he knew that he had to jump overboard and drown himself to save everyone else. THAT was what was due to him. But God had mercy on him, and sent the whale to save him.

 

I'm sure Jonah didn't see it this way. Reading Jonah's prayer from inside the fish, he sounds pretty miserable. And I always picture him being kinda whiny (is that just me? He sounds like a whiny dude, right?)  He was in there for 3 days, and all we read is a short snippet, that starts (basically--- my paraphrase) with "God, YOU did this to me!" And that's the way we sound most of the time, isn't it? "God, why are you doing this to me? God, why am I in this job? Why don't I have more money? Why can't I be happier/stronger/wealthier/more talented? God, why have you forgotten me?!?"

 

But maybe we need to shift our perspective and consider that maybe, just maybe, we are in the belly of the whale to be saved from drowning in the storm of our own making. Maybe, just maybe, what the consequences of our actions SHOULD be is much worse than fish guts and whale goo and seasickness (I mean, he must have been seasick, really).  Or much worse than driving a dinky car and not being able to afford steak and working a job that sucks or ~insert problem here.~

 

Maybe God orchestrated our current situations from the very first moment of creation to save us from ourselves.

 

And maybe what we can learn from Jonah is to lift our eyes to the Lord (even hundreds of feet under the sea, in the belly of a whale) and say:

 

"When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, LORD, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple. Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God's love for them. But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. I will say, 'Salvation comes from the LORD.' " (Jonah 2:7-9)

 

Because when Jonah finally did this, when he said "I'm going to praise you and keep my vows to you no matter what's going on, and I'm going to focus my eyes on the LORD and not on my circumstances," a great thing happened.

 

"...the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land."

 

The end. 

 



Little Hands to Heaven--- Week 2

We finished our second week with "Heart of Dakota's Little Hands to Heaven" (read more about my search for a "good fit" preschool curriculum HERE).

I am SO SO SO happy with this program. Even though I had a bad stomach bug for about 4 days, school still got done. It is so easy and yet still hands on and interactive and FUN.

Week 2 was "B" week, and also the week we worked through the story of Noah's Ark and the Tower of Babel. Even though it's technically Bean's "school," Bug is really enjoying it as well. They both LOVED the finger play for this week and Bug is still walking around saying "Boat did float! Boat did float!"

We are using the recommended preschool bible, A Child's First Bible (click on picture to view!)

... BUT it's really not deep enough for Bean. So we're supplementing with The Beginner's Bible

 

and our own family bible, of course!

 

Also, we're using the recommended devotional for "older" pre-K kids, and it's working out really well. It has a memory verse for each letter of the alphabet and a 2-page story to go along with the verse. I put the verses to music because that really helps both Bean and I remember them.  

 

 

 

 

Here are some highlights from Week 2!

 

 

Doing the "sink or float" experiment...

 ... and splashing around with little sis afterwards

 

This experiment was GREAT. Not only did she get to predict what would sink or float, but then she got to practice reading the chart and figuring out what they would do the second time. They have been "replicating" this for a week--- throwing all their toys in a laundry bin and pretending they're doing science!

 

 

Bean's BFF (we'll call her "Curls") spent a day doing school with us!

 

Decorating "B"s with bubble painting. Just mix a little water, some NON-TOXIC (very important, because all 3 girls decided to take a sip) paint, and some dish soap. So fun! I got in on the action too, but there's no pics of that. Thankfully :)

 

 

We also did some "credit-card" painting... Dave Ramsey would be so proud that I'm finding productive uses for my old credit cards ;) Had nothing to do with "B" or an ark, but it was fun!

 

 

 

Until next time... 



The new double standard

We have a weird double standard going on in our culture, which is this:

 

We collectively consider news stories about pregnant woman being hurt or killed horrific. I was going to say more horrific than a regular murder, but we have all become so desensitized to violence that “regular” murder rarely makes a blip on our radars anymore. Run-of-the-mill assaults or car crashes don’t even have a radar to blip on.

 

But when a pregnant woman is involved in one of these things, it suddenly becomes a monstrous occurrence. Men who beat their wives: bad. Men who beat their pregnant wives: monsters. Random knifing… unpleasant. Random knifing of a pregnant woman’s stomach: Horrendous. Car accident: run-of-the-mill. Car accident that involves pregnant woman: terrifying. We even see this echoed on TV shows. How many dramas have used the “pregnant woman in danger” scenario to increase tension? We are re-watching Lost and came to the episode where Ana-Lucia is shot. You find out at the end that she was pregnant… shortly before she kills the shooter. And you want to cheer for her, which is, I’m sure, what the writer’s goal was. You think “You go girl! He killed your baby! SHOOT HIM!!”

 

We find these things to be heart-wrenching, even sickening. And they are. But if the same woman chose to get an abortion in order to not bring that child into an abusive household, we’d cheer her on. If that lady made it through that assault or car crash and into the planned parenthood to “terminate the fetus,” she’d be a champion for women’s rights. If the same character on Lost had a storyline about choosing to kill the baby that she was murderous over, we’d be proud of their feminist stance.

 

Here’s the problem: What does this say about us?

 

It says that a person’s value and worth, even their basic humanity, is dependent on how much someone wants them.

 

We are horrified by the first set of stories because we know they parents are horrified; that was their baby that they were planning for and naming and loving already.  We accept (or even cheer) the second set because the babies were unwanted and it was the woman’s choice.

 

If you are wanted; if you are loved, you are valuable.

 

If you are a burden; if you are an inconvenience, you are worthless.

 

Does that sound scary? It does to me! It terrifies me that we are going down a road where our humanity is dictated by how other people feel about us.

It’s funny, because it’s very anti-American at its core. Our core values tell us that people have value because they are people, and that it doesn’t matter who your parents are or where you come from--- in fact, a vast majority of our laws are built to protect those in society that are unwanted or unloved.

But our abortion laws tell us just the opposite. They say that the ONLY thing that matters is who your parents are and where you come from. Your entire future is based on who you will (or will not) be born to. Your worth as a human is completely reliant on and determined by your DNA.

We’ve had this in the past--- frequently--- and we find it abhorrent to look into the periods in our own history (both human and American) where people were judged based on their social class, their ethnicity or the color of their skin. They are probably the biggest blemishes IN human history--- these decisions to oppress (or destroy) entire people groups because they were deemed invaluable, or worthless, or because they had the wrong DNA. These decisions to deem people "less than human" because they are unwanted or a hindrance, or because their presence makes someone else uncomfortable or less prosperous.

 

I wonder how history will look at us…

"Our" Story, Part One

Yep, this is gonna be one of those sloppy messy gooey love stories.

Nik and I, February 2009. BC (Before Children)

Eh, probably not ;)

But when I read other people's blogs, I am nosey and always want to know a bit of their backstory, so I'm sharing mine here.

My husband and I met in October 2004. At a pool hall. Yes, my friends, that is the story of how a youth pastor/worship leader and a youth pastor/homeschooling mother met. At a not-so-swanky much-more-divey pool hall.

He, as he would like to tell you, was a 23 year old "heathen." I was a *slightly* off-track 19 year old Christian girl. I was not newly but still pretty freshly off a bad breakup, and was not at all interested in entering a relationship. He as madly in love with me at first sight *hehehe.* (Hey, may not be the *completely* correct version, but that's what he gets for staying absent from the blogosphere. My version wins).

Nik used his best friend with the sexy Kiwi accent to try to lure my best friend and I into conversation, and it worked.

~~The Kiwi and I~~

We became very fast friends and "pool-hall" buddies, but that was it. He was too much of a wild-guy for me, and I wasn't interested in dating someone who... drank as much beer as he did! (Sorry hubs, tried to find a nice way of putting it, but there just isn't one.)

One night after we played pool for a while, he drove home. Drunk. He says he was screaming out to God, asking Him for a reason to keep living and proof that He existed, when this happened.

 

 

He took at railroad crossing WAY too fast and flew into a pole. He was honestly lucky to be alive, only a foot or so to the left and he would have been... mush.

 

As he was sitting in his car (unharmed, mind you), still raging at God, his phone rang, and guess who was on the other line?

**Me, Circa 2005**

When I pulled up to the crash site (unaware, mind you, what I was pulling up to, as he had told me he had "car problems" and needed me to come pick him up), he was being arrested for Drunk Driving (serves. him. right.) Apparently, me standing on the corner with the Kiwi laughing at him (hey, as I said, he deserved it) was the wake-up call he was asking for.

A few weeks later (post jailing, mind you), I was at a bible study with my (now) pastor and best friend. I spent the majority of the 2 hours on my face, crying, praying for healing. I wasn't sick, but I was broken--- a year of anger, hurt, and flat-out craziness had left me bitter and brokenhearted. I felt God touch me that night and begin to heal my heart, and by the end of the evening I remember telling God I was ready to start again, and move on with my life.

Only a few minutes later (literally as my phone re-gained service), my phone rang and Nik was on the other line. He invited me to go out with our friends that night, and I did.

I know it sounds crazy, but he was a different person and I saw him in a different light. You know that verse "All things work for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose"? He's pretty much a living example of that. He may not have "loved" God at this moment, but he was seeking Him and he is definitely called to Him.

I can only attribute it to God answering both of our prayers and Him opening my eyes to see Nik as God saw him that night. It was obvious after only a few minutes that he really was pretty in love with me (this time, it's the honest truth. Really). I decided to give him a chance.

--Niks first Kings game--

And the rest, friends... is for another time.
Stay tuned for Part Deux.

Heart of Dakota

Ah, the seemingly endless (although I hope it isn't) search for a good homeschoolling "fit."

The past 6 months have been quite an adventure for me--- trying to figure out what to teach Bean and how to teach it. It has been a learning experience for us both, and a lesson in patience and understanding! Although it continues to have some days of struggle, I am really enjoying this homeschooling journey of ours. I am learning so much about my daughters strengths and weaknesses and how she learns. And I am learning so much about my own strengths and weaknesses as well!

I don't have experience from the "other side" of things, but I am really happy I started doing this so young. It has given me a lot of room to experiment and change my mind and mess up without Bean missing out on any vital information. I'm sure she would have been just fine, but I would have felt very guilty if I did this much mind-changing and wobbling and slacking off through 1/2 a year of 1st or 2nd grade!

All that is to say that I have made yet another change; one that I hope will stick this time! I am just not organized or dedicated enough to design a whole curriculum myself. I am still sticking with our character program, but we are adding in Heart of Dakota's Little Hands to Heaven Preschool Curriculum.

I am so excited about doing this program. I downloaded the first week and did it with Bean (Bug tagged along too, and actually did really well with some of the activities) and we both really enjoyed it. I love that it only takes about 30 minutes a day, is pretty much totally prepared for me, and is BIBLICALLY CENTERED. It doesn't just have "bible lessons," it revolves around the bible. In the first week we went through the story of creation, the fall, and Cain and Abel. And in enough depth that Bean can tell you what Cain and Abel did and how Cain sinned (she can tell you the other stuff, too, but Cain and Abel was the one new story for her).

The only thing (besides the character training) that I am adding are some art projects. It has a devotional that we will be going over every night with my husband and even has its own simple art projects and worksheets.


I'm waiting impatiently for all the materials to arrive in the mail! I'll let you know how it goes once we start!!!

Church Busy Bags

I have a problem.

A problem that really is in need of some 12 step program that provides support counselors and addition sponsors.

It's called "Dollar Tree."

I know, I know, it's a shameful issue, but it is what it is.

Good thing is that I tend to get lots of cool stuff that then benefits my family, because I need to DO something with all that stuff!

As I was shopping today, I decided I was going to make Bean and Bug some church "busy bags." My husband (and our family) has been very blessed and honored to be invited to play other churches and events lately, and I anticipate this is going to continue to happen, and more frequently, throughout this year.

That leaves me with a little bit of a problem--- trying to entertain Bean and Bug, while making sure Baby isn't starving or dying of boredom, in some new places that usually don't have childcare. Or, if they do, I don't generally utilize it until I'm really familiar with the church and their policies, etc. I very rarely leave my kids with people I don't know... (like, never, up to this point, that I can remember!).

Anyway, the past few times I have gone flying through the house trying to find things to shove into the diaper bag at the last minute to keep them entertained. And it usually fails miserably, either because I miss something, or they fight over one particular object, or the stuff is so buried in my bag that I end up frazzled and frustrated just trying to get them entertained or packed up.


So, as I was shopping in my own personal addiction heaven, I got some things to make them Church Busy Bags. I wanted to get things that would keep them quietly entertained, be easily contained in a small area, and would be special for church--- that way they will not get bored as quickly.

What I ended up with was (for each bag):
-A pad of paper
-Crayons
-A Bingo "dotter"
-Stickers
-A small book
-Magnetic Shapes
-A small doll
-A magnetic "chip clip"
-A pizza tray

If you are wondering "Why, oh why, do you need a pizza tray and a chip clip??"

It makes a perfect, contained lap work space. The chip clip holds the sheets of paper (I know if I give them the whole pad at once, it will be gone in one sitting with one little scribble on each page) and the tray can sit perfectly on their laps so that they don't have to use chairs or the floor to work. Also, they can use the shapes to play on the tray when coloring gets old.

For both bags, I spent $14. The books came in a pack of 2, the chip clips in a 3-pack, and the crayons in a 4-pack. The stickers came in a pack of 5 sheets, which I cut in quarters (so 20 "refills," essentially). Obviously, its something that needs to be customized to your child's needs. I have been trying to do more messy, creative art projects at home so coloring isn't really a "regular" activity for my girls; at least not to the point where it won't keep their attention for a few minutes. The bingo dotters are completely new for them and something they only have in these bags. They also rarely get to use stickers to just go crazy with, so that is pretty novel for them too.

I got bags big enough to hold everything plus their bibles, but small enough for them to carry themselves--- it's good practice for them and me to start teaching self-sufficiency. This way, they can be responsible for carrying their things into church and cleaning them up when they're done. It's also good practice for all of us to remember to pack our bibles every Sunday!!

A view of the inside...

 

I do try to train them to sit still and be attentive for as long as possible during service, but I don't expect a 3 and 1 1/2 year old to sit through an entire message. I can use these as a "reward" for sitting still and paying attention for a "Mommy-Approved" time period and make sure that we are being a blessing and not an annoyance or a distraction to churches that we are visiting!

 



Tipping Point

I feel that we are at a tipping point in our history where all the decisions we've made as a people, all the "rights" we've fought for and platforms we've supported, are coming back to bite us in the butt.

There are things that we (and by "we" I mean the American people as a whole) have been pushing for and supporting without really realizing the full ramifications of our decisions.

Certain choices seem really good right now; they satisfy our desires or put a band-aid on the owee or shift the blame to someone besides ourselves, but they have really yucky long-term consequences.

What's funny is, shortly after I was thinking about this two days ago, two news stories came to my attention on Facebook that made me say "Yep. That's exactly what I was talking about."

This story about public schools taking away parents visiting rights and this story about a wrongful death suit.

Now let me explain myself.

For years we have been pushing the school systems to move way beyond their natural boundaries--- it has been a long time since school was simply supplemental teaching to enrich what children learn at home, or even specialized teaching to focus on subjects the parents were not able to teach. School is now the place where children are "socialized"--- where they are taught how to function and behave in a normal society. Where they are taught manners, social graces, and obedience. Now, schools are stepping in and taking more rights away from the parents--- telling them when they can and cannot see their children, what they can pack for lunch... and parents are angry because they think the school is trying to take their place.

Isn't that exactly what we've asked them to do? We are angry about it now because they've crossed some sort of invisible line, but the second we put a government-run agency in charge of deciding how our children behave, we made them the parents. They're not taking our jobs, we've given them away.

On to the second article...
To sum it up for you, a husband/father is suing a Catholic Hospital for wrongful death of his twin babies. They died at 7 months gestation when their mother (pregnant with them) went into the hospital and the OB/GYN on call failed to answer a page. The father's argument is that if the OB answered the page, he could have performed an emergency C-Section and saved the babies. The Catholic company is claiming they aren't at fault because the babies were NOT "people," and their lawyers are arguing against changing the state's laws to call babies in the womb "persons."

Now let me explain myself again: Since Roe V. Wade, our society has pursued "the right to choose" by accepting and promoting the idea that a baby in the womb is not a person. Now, suddenly, when medical doctors are accepting our assertions, it is inconvienient. We want it to be a fetus when it's a bother and a person once we want it.

I can see the day coming very soon when insurance companies refuse to cover pre-natal care that only helps the baby. Why would they? In a state where the fetus is not a person, why would an insurance company shell out thousands of dollars on extra ultrasounds, extra drugs, or extra medical procedures such as peri-natal surgery to save something they don't consider a baby?

And what will our society do then? When we realize that the ramifications of our decisions have come back to curse us? When we realize that our right to choose now has left us without the right to life when we actually want it?

What will women do when they need a procedure to help them save their pregnancy and can't receive it because insurance companies don't feel there's anything to save? Or when her employer refuses to put her on "light duty" or "bedrest" because the risk is to the pregnancy and not a "person?" Does that sound extreme? It shouldn't--- if we say long and loud enough that a fetus is not a person, people are going to start listening. One day a woman is going to walk into a hospital needing an emergency c-section and, far from malpractice, it will be regular practice to hear "Oh, your fetus isn't technically a person at 25 weeks, so we're gonna let this just work itself out." There's no risk of harm to a person, after all...

My point is this: we, as a society, have to start looking beyond our own immediate gratification and towards the ramifications of our decisions.

If we tell schools its their fault our kids are the way they are; that its their responsibility to make them smarter, better behaved, prepared for the world because we don't have the time/energy/desire to do it (or maybe because we know something's wrong and we need someone to blame) we can't get mad when they take the responsibility we've given them and raise our kids the way they want them raised. If we tell the world that our right to choose is more important than what is growing inside us, we can't get mad when they tell us that their right to choose is more important as well.

Getting to know God

Our church is rounding off week 1 of a 3 week fast tonight.

We have done fasts before, and I never really felt like I benefited from them. The reason for this, I'm sure, is that I was just fasting because someone told me to fast, and didn't really have a "goal" for the time.

Which, let's be honest, isn't hurting anyone but me. I'm giving up something I really like and not getting anything from it. Sucksville.

So this time I decided I was going to really press in spiritually and make sure that I don't just waste 3 weeks, but actually benefit from them. It was pretty easy to decide what my "goal" was going to be, because it is something that has been on my heart from before the new year.

I want to renew my relationship with God.

Its a sad but true reality that, even though its the most important thing, it's also the the thing that gets pushed away most easily. Reading the bible gets replaced with reading "Fancy Nancy," prayer gets replaced with fuming about kids that don't sleep, won't stop fighting, won't obey; and before you know it you realize you don't really know God's heart anymore. Does He love me still? Of course. Is He there still? Of course. He has not gone anywhere, but I have let my life move me away from Him. I still love Him, I still obey Him, I still worship Him, but I have found that there is not a close, constant intimacy anymore. It is something that comes during worship or prayer (almost exclusively corporate worship or prayer--- where I am essentially benefiting from the intimacy that the others around me share with the Lord) and then disappears once all the little thorns of daily life spring up again.

This year, Nik and I are fasting TV and Video Games--- a pretty big fast for us, as these are our "relaxing" mechanisms. I watch TV to veg out during nap time, and it comes on again at night once the kids are in bed to end our day.

Well, no more.

Which is really perfect for my fasting goal, because it clears up a good chunk of time in the middle and at the end of my day. I could be very holy and tell you I'm using all that time in prayer, worship and study, but let's be honest. That's not happening. But I am *at least* trying to use the beginning of each of those times, and do it for a little longer every day.

ANYWAY....

The original point of this post is now approaching, only 6 paragraphs in...

While I was praying today, God planted a great idea in my head. The bible tells us:

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me."

-John 10:27

 

The Greek word that is translated "to listen" in this passage actually means "to hear" in the sense of attending to, comprehending, understanding and considering what is being said.

 

So I thought: What if I take the next two weeks to read through the gospels with the purpose of not just reading, but being attentive to and understanding what Jesus is really saying. He says that if we do that, we will know Him. And I want to get to know Him better, so... why not?

 

(I use E-Sword for a lot of commentary and also the Hebrew and Greek translations--- if you don't have it, it's a free bible program that is SO helpful for studying God's Word. Get it!)

 

So here's what I'm doing:

 

Using a Bible Reading Plan Generator (another really cool tool), I split up the gospels into 14 reading sections:

Day 1: Matt 1-9
Day 2: Matt 10-16
Day 3:Matt 17-23
Day 4: Matt 24-28
Day 5: Mk 1-8
Day 6: Mk 9-16
Day 7: Lk 1-5
Day 8: Lk 6-9
Day 9: Lk 10-13
Day 10: Lk 14-19
Day 11: Lk 20-24
Day 12: Jn 1-7
Day 13: Jn 8-13
Day 14: Jn 14-21

 

Starting tomorrow, during my non-TV time, I'm going to read that day's section with a notebook and pen handy, and write down all the impressions of Jesus I get from the text.

 

** For me, the challenge will definitely be staying on topic--- I tend to read a line and end up getting into a deep bible study on that topic. I'm going to make a point to just write down a few words or a sentence about what I learn about Jesus from whatever he's saying or doing and then move foreword.**

 

 

In conclusion (if you're reading this, Hi Rob!), I have to tell you that God is so faithful and graceful with me, it's a little ridiculous. Already from this one week of fasting and devoting (only a little) more time to prayer and reading, I feel His presence more. I find myself being able to pray more focused prayers, getting more revelation from what I read, and even praying for others in ways I haven't before. His love for us is really amazing, isn't it?

 

Anyway, in conclusion...

 

 

An Inconvenient Truth

**Warning--- this post concerns birth control and abortion. It is going to get touchy. Read on at your own risk**

I have been contemplating writing about this for a long time, but have avoided it because of a few reasons... that mainly boil down to knowing it will offend some people and step on peoples toes, and that I am not big on confrontation, especially of the Internet variety.

^^ That is not my intention, but I assure you, it is going to happen, so just brace yourself, and I will brace myself, and hopefully we can all come out of it as friends...

I am writing this because I wish someone would have told me this a long time ago...

Did you know that all forms of hormonal birth control (all forms that are cited on the "pregnancy prevention" page of the American Pregnancy Association) have a secondary function of preventing a fertilized egg from implanting?

Why am I saying this?

Because, through my study of scripture and human biology I have come to believe, as many Christians (and non-Christians) I know do, that life begins at conception. Meaning, sperm meets egg and joins to form a unique creation that we call "life." If you don't believe this, then that is a debate and a topic for another time. I urge you to take some serious time of prayer and study (both biblically and "scientifically") on this topic, but I'm not going to go any further on it. (**I will warn you that you might want to stop reading here, because the rest of this is really aimed towards people who have the above conviction.**)

However, if you do believe this--- that life begins at conception--- then hormonal birth control has the possibility of having abortive effects. What does this mean? This means that every month there is a chance (how small is not certain, but studies show that there is a 4-15% chance of ovulation/possibility of fertilization every month for women using the pill (click here, see point 8)) that a life is being ended due to the effects of taking hormonal birth control.

You might know this, or you might thinking what I was, which was a big "Whhhaaaattt?"

The primary function of hormonal birth control (depo shot, IUD, patch and pills) is to either prevent ovulation or prevent sperm from reaching a fertile egg. However, all of these forms of birth control have a secondary function (read--- ovulation occurs, or sperm gets through to egg, because they're persistent little buggers) of making the uterus unable/less able to support a pregnancy.

Meaning the egg gets fertilized, a life is formed, but it cannot grow because the drugs make this impossible. Essentially (and here comes the inconvenient truth that people are not going to like--- I know this because I did not like it myself)--- you are taking/using drugs which cause the end of an already started pregnancy, and an already forming life.

Now, I realize there are about a million reasons why people use birth control--- from just not wanting any more kids to financial issues to medical considerations for the mother and/or child. I realize that it is a very inconvenient truth. That, if this is new information to you, it probably throws a wrench in a lot of plans (or non-plans) that you have.

However, I have to say (and realize that this is said with compassion, even if it doesn't sound like it)--- so what.

Now this is the real crux of the matter, the real reason I've been driven to write this post--- and this is aimed specifically towards Christians, so if there's anyone out there still reading that doesn't buy into the whole Jesus thing, you're excluded here---

We have to practice what we preach.

 

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye."

--- Jesus

(Matthew 7:3-5, ESV)

 

 

If we preach that life is precious, that children are a blessing, that life begins at conception and that abortion is murder... then the only real answer to all our "buts" concerning hormonal birth control is

 

 

SO WHAT

 

 

If we would not view something as an "acceptable" reason to go to a clinic and get an abortion, why can we view it as an "acceptable" reason to end a pregnancy by using drugs?

 

Maybe because it's only a slight risk?

 

Let me ask those of you that already have children--- what is an acceptable *unnecessary* risk to your child's life? I understand we put them at risk every day, the world is a dangerous place. But how much of an unnecessary risk is acceptable? Would you put your child on a roller coaster or give them a skateboard if they had a 15% chance of dying? What about 5%? Would you take your kids to magic mountain if 5% of their guests died? What about 1%? If only 1% of guests at Magic Mountain died, would you buy them a ticket?

 

Again--- *if* we believe life begins at conception--- If I believe that life begins at conception, and therefore that the second sperm meets egg I have a child inside of me, then I am essentially playing that same odds game by using birth control.

 

I am going to argue here--- and you may think I'm wrong, but that's fine--- that it is always an unnecessary risk. Why? Because we have other options. If getting pregnant really will put your life or your child's life at risk, then honestly, you shouldn't be trusting these methods anyway, because they aren't 100%.

 

I get that this is an inflammatory, touchy subject. Maybe you're saying to yourself that it's none of my business, or that I don't know your situation. Both are probably true--- but aren't both true for women showing up at Planned Parenthood every day?

 

If I'm telling them their wrong, I have to look at myself, see the giant redwood protruding from my own eye, and realize that I, too, am wrong.

 

Again (and if it didn't come off this way, I am truly sorry), I say this out of love. I am putting this out there because I wish someone would have told me this information a long time ago, and Thank God I found out when I did and not many years later.

 

... and hopefully we're all still friends.

 

XOXO

Beka

 

 

 



Noah's Ark Rainbow

This week I have been teaching the girls about the story of Noah's Ark during our morning bible time.
One of the things we focused on this week (we've done this story a few times, with a few different focuses) is the goodness of God's promises.

I love that every time I see a rainbow in the sky, and now every time they see a rainbow in the sky, they can be reminded of God's love and his enduring promises.

The craft I did this week with bean was making a scrap-paper rainbow. I love this craft for a few reasons. It's great for fine motor skills, it builds hand strength, and it also works her memory, logic, and color matching.

First, I made a "dot" rainbow on a paper of white construction paper.

I use this method for a lot of our projects the require glue--- it's really good for "beginning" gluers who don't quite get the concept yet. She knows just where to put it and about how much (enough to cover the dot).

I cut out about 9-10 squares each of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple.
Then, I let her go at it!

It actually took bean about 3 sessions to finish, she didn't want to do it for longer than 5 minutes each time.

Little Bug wanted to play, too, so I gave her the rainbow-colored markers. Some of it even made it onto her paper...

The finished product!!

Until next time...