Getting to know God

Our church is rounding off week 1 of a 3 week fast tonight.

We have done fasts before, and I never really felt like I benefited from them. The reason for this, I'm sure, is that I was just fasting because someone told me to fast, and didn't really have a "goal" for the time.

Which, let's be honest, isn't hurting anyone but me. I'm giving up something I really like and not getting anything from it. Sucksville.

So this time I decided I was going to really press in spiritually and make sure that I don't just waste 3 weeks, but actually benefit from them. It was pretty easy to decide what my "goal" was going to be, because it is something that has been on my heart from before the new year.

I want to renew my relationship with God.

Its a sad but true reality that, even though its the most important thing, it's also the the thing that gets pushed away most easily. Reading the bible gets replaced with reading "Fancy Nancy," prayer gets replaced with fuming about kids that don't sleep, won't stop fighting, won't obey; and before you know it you realize you don't really know God's heart anymore. Does He love me still? Of course. Is He there still? Of course. He has not gone anywhere, but I have let my life move me away from Him. I still love Him, I still obey Him, I still worship Him, but I have found that there is not a close, constant intimacy anymore. It is something that comes during worship or prayer (almost exclusively corporate worship or prayer--- where I am essentially benefiting from the intimacy that the others around me share with the Lord) and then disappears once all the little thorns of daily life spring up again.

This year, Nik and I are fasting TV and Video Games--- a pretty big fast for us, as these are our "relaxing" mechanisms. I watch TV to veg out during nap time, and it comes on again at night once the kids are in bed to end our day.

Well, no more.

Which is really perfect for my fasting goal, because it clears up a good chunk of time in the middle and at the end of my day. I could be very holy and tell you I'm using all that time in prayer, worship and study, but let's be honest. That's not happening. But I am *at least* trying to use the beginning of each of those times, and do it for a little longer every day.

ANYWAY....

The original point of this post is now approaching, only 6 paragraphs in...

While I was praying today, God planted a great idea in my head. The bible tells us:

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me."

-John 10:27

 

The Greek word that is translated "to listen" in this passage actually means "to hear" in the sense of attending to, comprehending, understanding and considering what is being said.

 

So I thought: What if I take the next two weeks to read through the gospels with the purpose of not just reading, but being attentive to and understanding what Jesus is really saying. He says that if we do that, we will know Him. And I want to get to know Him better, so... why not?

 

(I use E-Sword for a lot of commentary and also the Hebrew and Greek translations--- if you don't have it, it's a free bible program that is SO helpful for studying God's Word. Get it!)

 

So here's what I'm doing:

 

Using a Bible Reading Plan Generator (another really cool tool), I split up the gospels into 14 reading sections:

Day 1: Matt 1-9
Day 2: Matt 10-16
Day 3:Matt 17-23
Day 4: Matt 24-28
Day 5: Mk 1-8
Day 6: Mk 9-16
Day 7: Lk 1-5
Day 8: Lk 6-9
Day 9: Lk 10-13
Day 10: Lk 14-19
Day 11: Lk 20-24
Day 12: Jn 1-7
Day 13: Jn 8-13
Day 14: Jn 14-21

 

Starting tomorrow, during my non-TV time, I'm going to read that day's section with a notebook and pen handy, and write down all the impressions of Jesus I get from the text.

 

** For me, the challenge will definitely be staying on topic--- I tend to read a line and end up getting into a deep bible study on that topic. I'm going to make a point to just write down a few words or a sentence about what I learn about Jesus from whatever he's saying or doing and then move foreword.**

 

 

In conclusion (if you're reading this, Hi Rob!), I have to tell you that God is so faithful and graceful with me, it's a little ridiculous. Already from this one week of fasting and devoting (only a little) more time to prayer and reading, I feel His presence more. I find myself being able to pray more focused prayers, getting more revelation from what I read, and even praying for others in ways I haven't before. His love for us is really amazing, isn't it?

 

Anyway, in conclusion...