But where are my furry animal friends?

Some days (most days), I feel like Snow White.

Only, I don't have cute little wooden creatures singing me sweet songs.

I always thought Snow White was good ole Walt preparing me for the day when my prince would come, sweep me off my feet, and take me away to my castle.

Now, I see it for what it really was---

Walt preparing me for being a Mommy that is constantly surrounded by little people...

"...Dwarfs," if you will...

...who function in a miniature little environment (a cottage?), complete with miniature beds, miniature chairs, miniature plates, knives, forks, spoons, cups, and toilets. Miniature food. Miniature books. Things you never even IMAGINED came in miniature form.

And anything that ISN'T miniature is surrounded by tools to aid the Dwarfs, in their mini-ness, with day-to-day life. (Please don't mind the step-stool in front of the sink, or the ladder in front of the fridge, or the hundred other safety hazards in my home; my dwarfs are becoming self-aware and want to do everything by themselves today.)

Fear not! Snow Mommy has become very accustomed to this way of life.  In fact, I often think strangers from outside the enchanted forest must look at me funny as I automatically take large, knee-bending, leg-lifting steps everywhere I go to avoid any unseen... (insert any miniature item here). Or when I don't think twice about using a dixie-cup for my lunch beverage, or a small, plastic coated spoon to eat my oatmeal.

The little dwarfs go to "work" every day, make themselves filthy, don't want to wash before dinner, wear Snow Mommy out with their crazy dwarf antics, and then fall peacefully asleep for the night to start again tomorrow.

And the only peaceful place in many a Snow Mommy cottage is to curl up in the tiny little dwarf-sized bed that has been so associated with nap-time that the actual dwarfs won't touch it with a 10 foot pole. Or their miniature 3 ft. pole that they carry around to beat other dwarfs over the head with.

But here is where Sir Disney got it wrong. Because when Prince Charming sweeps in to rescue Snow White (and yes, please sweep away), what we really need for him is to see that we are in a deep, almost deadly sleep, and BACK THE HECK AWAY. Because, if my Prince Charming, bless his sweet heart, comes home to the dwarfs playing peacefully and the house being clean and me resting and his first thought is "I better wake her up," this fairy tale is going to turn into a homicide movie very quickly.

~The End~